The Latest News Divorce

Covid-19 has created so many unforeseen circumstances.  For many it has created more stress; however, for some it has actually created positive results.  For this divorced couple who were forced to co-parent differently as a result of Covid, it has actually strengthened their relationship.

As I have stressed many times in the past, alternative disputed resolution processes, such as Mediation and Collaborative Divorce, are the better paths to take to resolve conflicts outside the court system.  Notwithstanding what these lawyers think, you should first research a divorce lawyer...my suggestion is to first look into alternative disputes professionals like mediators and collaborative divorce attorneys.  I would even go so far as to seek out a collaborative divorce lawyer first, since if you are not aware of how the processes work, you will at least get the perspective of what happens in litigation verses mediation and collaborative divorce.  They can help guide you on what is best for you and your family. 

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Kelsey Borresen, HuffPost(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

This article discusses several perils of divorce later in life.  Unfortunately, gray divorce as it is known is becoming more common and creates its own unique challenges. 

Finances can be extremely complicated, especially when a couple has planned for many years together.  Unwinding that to move on separately can become very difficult. 

The effects on adult children also should not be underestimated.  Divorce affects every child, regardless of age. 

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Ann Gold Buscho Ph.D., PsychologyToday(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

Most people are aware there is a statistic that says 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Today this is not totally accurate based upon the choice of some not to marry and a slight decrease in the divorces due to various reasons. 

This article gives food for thought, when you see signs that your marriage is not working out. Like you can’t remember the last time you were intimate; you want your spouse to change, but they just can’t. These are all items to consider in evaluating your relationship and/or seeking a way to make the marriage work. 

If you truly are facing a dissolution of your marriage or you have a major conflict to resolve, there are better ways than going through the court system. The Collaborative Process, to resolve conflict, and, if necessary, help a couple or family through divorce, is an amazing process that is not only more cost efficient but a more holistic approach, giving your family the confidence, confidentiality and tools to survive what could be a devastating event in your life. 

If you have any question, please feel free to call my office for a free fifteen (15) minute consultation. 

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Brand Partner Agency, VillageVoice(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

Love languages fundamentally influence how people express and receive affection in relationships.

Introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman, these five approaches to emotional connection—words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch—serve as pathways to intimacy and understanding.

Yet research suggests one particular love language, when unfulfilled, may function as an early warning sign of relationship trouble and potential divorce.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Digital Hearts, rollingout(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) is quickly becoming one of the most popular methods for resolving legal disputes. Instead of pursuing a lengthy trial that is expensive and can result in an outcome with which nobody is happy, ADR offers more efficient options for settling disputes. One of the more common ADR methods is mediation.

What is Mediation?
Mediation is a way to settle a dispute without litigation. It involves the disputing parties and a neutral third-party mediator. Often, disputes are settled in as little as a single mediation session, which might last only a few hours. Disputing parties have complete control of the resolution and the mediator is there only to ensure the resolution is legal and that the parties use effective communication and remain focused on resolution. Essentially, the mediator facilitates discussion so disputing parties can resolve a problem. If disputing parties believe they will need additional support during the mediating process, they have the option of choosing collaborative mediation. Like basic mediation, this process is efficient and keeps the control in the hands of the disputing parties, but it provides them with the support of a team of experts that offer counsel during the process. Each party can have his or her own legal representation, and other professional experts might also play a role in the process, including those familiar with financial, psychological, or real estate issues.

What are the Benefits of Collaborative Mediation?
In general, mediation is beneficial because it saves time and money. Collaborative mediation offers these benefits, but it is a better solution when cases are complex or when disputing parties are uncomfortable making legal decisions without sufficient resources. Collaborative mediation is solution oriented with the party’s needs and desires dictating a resolution. Although the parties may be represented by attorneys this is not an adversarial process but again a solution oriented process. For instance, if decisions are to be made during mediation about splitting marital property and the mediator is not an expert in real estate law, collaborative mediation allows an attorney or a real estate expert to provide information during the mediation process. Collaborative mediation is especially helpful during divorce proceedings because there are so many sensitive issues at play. Approximately 40% of divorcing couples are parents and just as concerned about the well-being of their children, as they are for their own. As parents you will always be connected in some fashion to the father or mother of your children. Both Mediation and Collaborative mediation help salvage a working relationship between the parties and provide the tools to go forward in the future. Divorce proceedings include a variety of issues and having expert advice from various fields helps make the decision-making process easier. According to Divorce Magazine, the average length of divorce proceedings is one year. Mediation can shorten this transition period, making it possible for families to move forward and begin their new lives. If you are involved in a legal dispute and you believe traditional litigation will do more harm than good, mediation is an option. Collaborative mediation provides a way to settle a dispute efficiently, but without the uncertainty you might feel using basic mediation.

The preamble of this article interestingly points out that society is set up to support and satisfy business interests but not family interests; so when two people come together in a marriage, although they have each other, they many times face the problems of the world without much support from society. 

Researchers have studied marriages for decades to figure out what works to keep a couple together for the long hall.  They have found these 7 factors outlined in this article to be essential for a happy long term marriage:

The first thing that a relationship really needs is a strong foundation. It is suggested that starts with a good friendship.  Although your primary relationship should be one of your primary friendships, it should not be your only friendship.  Like plants and trees in nature, people need space to grow in the sun and flourish.

Successful relationships often demonstrate that the individuals are truly in a successful partnership where they always have each other’s back and are always supportive of one another.  They share successes, they share disappointments, but more importantly, they support one another when there is a problem.  As termed in the article, it’s not “codependency”, but “interdependency”.  Being consistent and empathetic with each other are required for a truly successful partnership. 

What  most people don’t realize is that optimism and positivity are essential to succeed in any avenue in life.  This is especially true in a committed, primary relationship.  Being optimistic and positive enables a person and/or a couple or partnership to face conflict and problems and to come up with problem solving  strategies that are creative.  Practicing gratitude and being grateful for all aspects of the person in your life and having empathy for their circumstances and the things they are going through in life, in addition to your own, really fortifies the relationship.  It’s like the infrastructure that creates a strong foundation.  Think of it as steel used to reinforce concrete. 

How do you manage stress?  How do you as a couple manage stress?  Stress is a very big factor in life and it comes in all forms.  Plus, no one is immune.  Everyone has stress in their life, in one form or another.  How we individually and as a couple face stress and adversity can affect the health of a relationship. 

I found this article to be a very introspective read with some great points on what we should all pay attention to in our relationships.   Let me know your thoughts about the items outlined in this article.  I’ve only touched on a few.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Virginia Pelley, Fatherly.com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of UnSplash

For many, divorce is an earth shattering, life-changing experience.  This article discusses this individual person’s perspective on six things she felt, in retrospect, that people should do after being divorced and before starting a new relationship.  

I like her suggestion of going away alone and spending some quality time with yourself.  This will help someone get perspective and restart/reboot themselves.  As important is having some quality one on one downtime with your children.

Spring cleaning, not only removing your ex’s items from your home, but also possibly refreshing some of your rooms with a new look or style will give you a fresh take moving forward.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Katie Bingham-Smith, ScaryMommy.com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of UnSplash