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Marriage Law Basics: What are the 9 Types of Divorce?

Posted On: July 01, 2019

While this particular article does not address the specifics for a New York divorce (there is no Summary Divorce and no Arbitration for divorce in NY), it does outline the nine different types of divorce, depending upon how complicated the situation is.

Contested & Uncontested:  To obtain a divorce you must commence a lawsuit or "action" against your spouse for divorce.  If that action moves forward where the spouse or "parties" fight over every issue that must be decided in a divorce (distribution of marital assets, child custody and visitation, etc.), then this is a contested divorce.  An uncontested divorce is where the parties settle their lawsuit, or even better, use alternative methods wherein they reach an agreement on all issues before they even file for their divorce, and then these parties DO NOT step into the courthouse...instead their paperwork goes to court.

What are the alternative methods?

Mediation is a process in which an impartial third party meets with a couple to help them reach a mutual and informed agreement for the terms of their separation and/or divorce.  https://www.spiriolaw.com/Practice-Areas/Divorce-Mediation-Long-Island

In the Collaborative Process the attorneys and parties agree that they will not go to Court and will instead focus their energies on settlement. The parties can therefore control certain aspects of their divorce or dissolution, such as the cost and the timing.  https://www.spiriolaw.com/Practice-Areas/Collaborative-Law-Attorney-Long-Island

New York is now a No-Fault Divorce state, which means you do not have to allege or prove fault grounds in your action to obtain a divorce.

Finally, same sex marriage is now legal nationwide and divorce is governed by state law.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of PRFIRE.



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6 Things Wealthy People Do To Protect Their Money When They Get Married

Posted On: July 08, 2019

How to protect your money before marriage...

First, you want to protect individual assets and income, especially if there are multiple streams of income.  This may include income as a result of a family trust, gifts and/or inheritances or separate incomes from different business ventures.  This principle also applies to your non-high net worth individuals that may have multiple sources of income, whether it be from more than one business or a passive stream of income or individual separate property.

Meeting with a Financial Planner is also highly recommended so that you have an understanding of what you want to accomplish with respect to your Estate Planning.  It will also give a perspective with respect to tax consequences based upon your decisions.  After you have sorted out most of these issues, the most important next step is to consider doing a Prenuptial Agreement or a "Prenup".  This legal contract between the parties before they marry sets forth how they intend to hold and divide property that becomes marital and what properties they intend to keep separate and for which their soon to be spouse will have no future claim.  Because this is a contract between two parties, each party should be represented by independent counsel, so that each party's best interests are represented.  In addition to securing and identifying income and assets and how they will be effective by a possible future divorce, it is also important to consider if one of the parties is giving up a career in order to raise a family.  If that is the case, then the Agreement should also take into consideration whether that person is entitled to and should have financial support in the form of maintenance, which is equivalent to spousal support - and for what period of time that support should exist in the event of a divorce.

Another point most couples do not consider in planning for the future and protecting against a possible divorce is what happens to the debt that is acquired during the course of the marriage, or if a party is coming into a marriage with substantial debt...that is something that also should be addressed in a Prenup.

As for celebrities or persons of notoriety who live in the public eye, there are other considerations to ensure with respect to that person's public reputation and the effects that a scandal of a divorce could have.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Sarah Wells, Business Insider, and pitbull2013 via Compfight cc.

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January 2021 Collaborative Circle on YouTube

Posted On: January 27, 2021

Welcome back to the Collaborative Circle, and our first YouTube Video of 2021!

This year we are taking the time to spotlight each member who make up our esteemed group, and I'm proud to be the first profiled!

Please watch the video below to learn more about what brought me into the Collaborative Circle, what makes me so passionate about the work that I do, and why I believe so strongly in the Collaborative model.

As a reminder, on the last Tuesday of every month, the Long Island Collaborative Divorce Professionals release our Collaborative Circle on YouTube, which seeks to inform and answer all of the questions you may have regarding the Collaborative Divorce process as well as help foster understanding and further our mission of helping families make informed choices about how best to proceed throughout any family crisis.

For immediate information, please visit:

WebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn
Phone: 844-542-3700 • Email: info@licdp.com

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Want to Fight Less in Your Marriage? Quit Using Logical Fallacies.

Posted On: April 19, 2021

There are obviously worse things that can happen in a relationship than having a heated argument with your significant other, especially if there is a chance of making things better or learning from each other.  But there should be rules to fighting and arguing, whether spoken or unspoken. 

In 1980, two Dutch scholars developed some simple rules that can help.  This article also focuses on what fallacies to avoid using.  When I looked through these, what struck me is that many of them contain a judgment embedded in them, which is another thing to avoid when having an argument or a discussion with your spouse or significant other.  The last thing you want to do is blame or speak with a statement dripping with judgment.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Stever Calechman, Fatherly.com
Royalty free photo courtesy of Unsplash.com

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People Who Are Still Married To Their High School Sweethearts Are Sharing Marriage Advice, And It's Too Wholesome

Posted On: September 24, 2019

If you’re planning for your marriage to last long-term, here are some tips from people who married their high school sweethearts...and have stayed married!

• Expect and give each other time and space to grow and change
• Honest and open communication
• Support your partner in public and hold criticism and any argument until you’re in private
• The little things matter...saying thank you and please...paying attention to each other’s needs...asking how was your day, listening to the answer and sharing each other’s day and concerns
• Having true down time together to stay connected
• Practice forgiveness
• Know when to let things slide...choose when and if to complain
• Truly respect and trust each other and if you don't have that, maybe it’s time to figure out why
• No matter how long you are a couple, recognize you are not one single person...you each will have different interests and it’s ok to explore them alone
• Pick and chose your battles, never argue with personal attacks, communicate and embrace compromise AND NEVER go to bed angry
• Support each other and always have each other’s back...stick with each other and stick up for each other
• Be best friends
• Try and get along, or at least respect the in-laws...do not impose a separation or distance with family unless your partner creates that for themselves

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Allie Hayes of Buzzfeed.  Pic courtesy of Pixar.

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7 Things to Do ASAP When Your Spouse Wants a Divorce

Posted On: August 18, 2020

This article gives some good advice.  The very first thing someone facing a divorce should do is finding or hiring a good attorney.  I would recommend that you hire a good collaborative attorney.  It is always better to go through the collaborative method which approaches divorce from a holistic perspective of helping you and your family survive the dissolution of your marriage, both financially and emotionally.  It requires full disclosure and transparency as the law requires.  You will work with a team of professionals to help you through that process.

The other good tips in this article include monitoring your credit report, taking an inventory of all your assets and liabilities, and do what is necessary, depending upon your circumstances with respect to protecting your financial future.

Selected photo courtesy of 4 PM production/Shutterstock.com.  Selected linked article courtesy of Emmet Pierce, MoneyTalksNews.

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This Is How Many Years the Average Couple Makes It Before Getting Divorced

Posted On: September 29, 2020

Statistics tell us more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, and 7 years tends to be the magic number for the average length of a couple making it before divorcing.  Obviously the first year is the honeymoon phase.  At about 4 years, tensions tend to arise and by year 7, couples are either in a fight or flee mode, where they will find a way to deal with the tensions and move their relationship forward or decide that a dissolution is where they are heading. 

Multiple studies clearly indicate communication is crucial and misunderstanding left unattended grows into resentment and contempt.  A couple really needs to decide whether they are going to work through their difficulties and make the relationship work.  You have to be willing to spend the time to work at your relationship.  Kindness, good communication and respect for one another are vital.

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Bill and Melinda Gates Never Signed a Prenup. Here's How They'll Divide Their Assets Instead

Posted On: May 19, 2021

By now everyone knows that Bill & Melinda Gates are getting divorced. One of the richest couples in the world didn't have a Pre-Nuptial agreement (an agreement that is entered into prior to the marriage to determine ownership and distribution of assets in the event of a divorce). However, this divorce is not going to be a highly contested public affair because they have entered into a separate contract that addresses the division of property and spousal support after or during the marriage but before filing for divorce. This is often called a Post-Nuptial Agreement.  It’s important to note that these agreements cannot include provisions for child support and/or custody, but in the Gates case this was never necessary because they didn't have any minor children.

It appears the couple had been working on reconciling their differences, but when that became futile, they smartly handled everything that needed to be handled in the dissolution prior to actually filing a Court Proceeding.

This is a great example of how Collaborative Divorce can work, which is available to families in New York and not just for the rich and famous.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Justin Chan, entrepreneur.com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of UnSplash

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