The Latest News Divorce

When getting serious in a relationship, do you look ahead at the possibility of divorce? Do you examine this relationship to really determine if it is right or good for you? Do you ignore red flags when they come up?

This article highlights some easy steps and things you can do to ensure the strength and health of your relationship with your significant other.  In today’s hectic and busy world where everyone has a hand held device that many are glued and/or tied to, it is important to take time and make room for “quality time” in your relationship.  That does not mean sitting together in a room while you are both on a device, not paying attention to one another.  It means spending quality time that creates the foundation of your relationship.  Actually having meaningful conversations daily.

In this article, Dr. Skylar, a PhD a licensed marriage and family therapist, says teamwork is an essential ingredient for the sustainability of a long-term relationship.  Allowing partners to cultivate shared relationship goals and creating a meaningful shared life.  One of the simplest ways is to sit down and truly have a meal together.  That does not mean that you eat in the same room while watching tv and/or playing on your electronic device.  It means having a meal together, sharing and actually talking with one another; having an actual conversation.  Something as simple as making time to go to bed at the same time.  This doesn’t have to end in an intimate sexual interlude; but could be simply cuddling before one goes to sleep and saying goodnight and I love you before going off to sleep.

This is a great read on some simple steps about how to make your relationship stronger and healthier. 

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Jenn Sinrich of Martha Stewart Weddings and Erika Brown Photography.

How do you get through a divorce and have your “family” survive?  More people have begun to understand that divorce does not have to be a total destruction of a family.  There is a better way.  Navigating your divorce through mediation or the collaborative process is the first step which leads to a future that mends the family.  Collaborative divorce gives a family the additional support to make choices that will benefit everyone.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Wendy Smith Baruc, Mother.ly

According to the US Census Bureau, couples marrying today have a 50% chance of their marriage ending in divorce. Many of these marriages are between parents and 40% of children will be affected by divorce before reaching adulthood.

When couples with children divorce, their first priority is often the well-being of the children. Sometimes, unhappy couples even choose to stay together because they believe it is the best thing for their children. When a separation or divorce is the best option for the family, effort should be made to protect the most vulnerable members of the family. What can you do to protect your children when you separate from or divorce your partner?

Transition Phase
The process of divorce is stressful for the entire family, but it can be easier if it is handled well. Couples have the option of working together to alter their existing relationship. The inclination during a divorce is to “get rid of your partner” or pay him or her back for any perceived wrongs. Unfortunately, especially for the children, this causes more harm than good in the long run.

During your divorce or separation, do your best to protect your children by working with your soon-to-be-ex to devise an arrangement that is best for everyone. Try to be fair and try not to let your emotional wounds affect your child’s relationship with his or her parent. When possible, avoid a lengthy legal battle.

Custody and Visitation
Protecting your child from harm should be your first priority. If your soon-to-be-former partner has behaved in a manner that put your child at risk, you have every right to protect your child in the future. However, there is a difference between a child being at risk and a child spending time with someone whom you are upset or angry with. Just because your partner hurt you should not mean your child will benefit from estrangement from his or her parent. Do not put your child in the middle of any dispute or discord with your spouse or partner.

Working together to create a custody or visitation arrangement that helps your child feel comfortable and supported is the healthiest type of transition for a child. If he or she is old enough to discuss custody or visitation, take his or her feelings into account when creating an arrangement. Ideally, children will feel just as loved and supported after a separation or divorce as they did when the family was intact.

Finally, speak with your child about responsibility. It is important for children to understand they did nothing to cause the break up of the family.

No matter your personal situation, your children should be protected from the changes in your relationship with your significant other. Working with an experienced family lawyer helps you transition to separation or divorce with as little turmoil as possible. Share your concerns about your child’s safety and well-being with your attorney and he or she can help you determine the steps to take to protect your child.

If you have a legal situation concerning your family and are in need of help, call 631-277-8844 today for a no obligation initial consultation and personal service.

Source:
http://www.smartstepfamilies.com/view/statistics

This is the relationship advice therapists want couples to keep top of mind.  Although every couple and their circumstances are different, it appears that there is some common universal marriage advice given by therapists.

Avoiding conflict often creates further conflict down the road.  So, don't be afraid to face conflict and explore it...it will be much more productive.  It's also important to stay curious and ask questions.  In other words, be interested in your partner’s life...what is important to them and what is going on in their lives?

One of the points is very interesting.  Therapists seem to believe that all arguments that we may have with one another boil down to one essential element:  basically wanting or needing to be sure that our partner will be there for us.  What needs are we really expressing through these conflicts and arguments?  Discovering that can ultimately bring a more intimate and binding connection. 

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Jeremy Brown, Fatherly(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

This article talks about the film Marriage Story, which has some very on point dramatizations of what can happen in real life.  Divorce is hard enough, but when a couple thinks that this can be very simple and easy and should not cost us anything to get divorced, they are many times proven drastically wrong.  Even when a couple starts out with the premise that they feel there is not a lot to fight over, if they get involved in a litigated divorce, things become positional very early on and many times the couple are oceans away from where they originally started…thinking that they could do this simply, either by a difference of opinion or a perceived breach of trust, or a multitude of many other reasons.  This is why Mediation and the Collaborative process is so vital and important.  These processes are based on and revolve around the clients and their communications and trying to keep things on a settlement track from beginning to end. 

The other fallacies that most people don’t realize is that no matter what you do or which path you take, divorce does not come for free.  There are legal implications that are imposed by the Courts and paperwork that is required as well as filing fees.  This paperwork, although the Court has a do it yourself section, is very difficult for a lay person to actually accomplish.  Therefore, you need the assistance of a professional, to not only navigate the process of divorce, but to get the paper work done correctly.  One thing is for sure, using an alternative method like Collaborative Divorce or Mediation is much more cost effective than litigation and as I like to say, in these methods the parties never go to Court, only their paperwork does.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Elle Hunt, The Guardian; & Netflix/Guardian Design Team

Traditionally, stay at home moms have been looked at as guaranteed to win child custody.  However, obtaining their full share of the marital pot has always been problematic.  Not withstanding the evolution of shared custody, and men being recognized as entitled and able for child rearing when it comes to the money aspects of the marriage, stay at home moms often still receive less than half of the marital pot.

The breadwinner of the family inevitably believes that they are always entitled to the lion's share of the marital assets.  The non-tangible benefits of the stay at home spouse in rearing children, taking care of all household responsibilities, and enabling the bread-winning spouse to actually increase earning potential is often forgotten, negated, and never given it’s true worth. It may be time for a more equal split of the marital assets.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Naomi Cahn, Forbes.

These are 5 things that most people will experience and feel after the end of their marriage.  It's important to recognize these feelings.  These are good suggestions and techniques to help navigate these feelings. 

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Laura Bonarrigo, yourtango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

Concetta Spirio, Family & Divorce Attorney speaking at the recent 2015 NALS of New York Annual Meeting & Educational Conference On Divorce: The Differences & Benefits of Mediation and Collaborative vs Litigation.