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12 Important Couples Questions To Ask Each Other To Get Even Closer

Posted On: September 27, 2022

There are no quick fixes to make a marriage or a true relationship work. The fact is, a committed relationship takes WORK!

So, how can you work to make your relationship stronger and create a deeper special bond?  This article explores twelve questions you can ask each other and explore to make your relationship a deeper and more qualitative bond.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Louise Armstrong, YourTango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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Surprising Ways Divorce Affects Your Social Security Benefits

Posted On: September 20, 2022

Before you make an election on your Social Security benefits whether to retire early, retire at the full retirement age or at maximum age, this is an election you need to make with true understanding of the consequences.  Therefore consulting a financial adviser who understands Social Security benefits is often best!

Many people are anxious to retire, but should you take Social Security early or at the earliest possible age?  Most people do not realize that there is a significant loss of benefit when you retire early.  A large percentage of your benefit disappears if you elect to retire early i.e., taking retirement at age 62.  Full retirement age has changed over time...it used to be 65 but now depends upon when you were born to determine at what age you can collect full retirement benefits. 

Before retirement, it is wise to consider when and which benefits to take, depending on your financial circumstances.  Taking Social Security at age 70, for instance, may get you more money monthly but will you live long enough to collect the difference of what you would collect if you took benefits at full retirement age?  This is something that you should consider and calculate, or speak with a financial adviser to understand the full picture.

Divorce can also affect Social Security benefits.  For instance, did you know that if you were married for 10 years and then divorce, you can choose an election where you actually are able to utilize your ex-spouse’s Social Security benefits?  So how does that work?  So long as you have been married for at least 10 years, it doesn't matter how long you were divorced, so long as you have not remarried you will have the option at the time of your retirement to elect between your own Social Security benefit or ½ of your ex-spouse’s Social Security benefit, if it is greater than your own benefits.  You are not, however, entitled to the entire amount of your ex’s Social Security benefit.  You are only entitled to half, so if your ex-spouse ears significantly more than you for many years, half of their retirement benefit may be larger than your entire retirement benefit.  The wonderful thing is it doesn't matter when your Ex retires or when you retire...the election to your ex-spouse’s benefit exists and does not affect your ex-spouse’s benefit or how they elect to take their retirement.  The Social Security Administration usually will do the best as far as giving you the higher amount, so for instance, if it is better for you to keep your own benefit they will make sure that your own Social Security benefit is paid first and then they will pay you the difference using the spousal benefit generated by your ex-spouse’s work history.  Just be sure to confirm everything before finalizing your election!

There is also a survivor benefit in the event that your spouse, either current or former, passes away.  You may be eligible for survivor benefits.  Qualification for these benefits are really different.  If you were married at the time of the death, you must have been married for at least nine months unless your spouse’s death was accidental or occurred during military service.  For your divorced spouse you had to have been similarly married for 10 years and if that spouse dies that death survivor benefit can actually be received before you retire, depending on your age and circumstances and whether or not you have a disability.  If you are receiving Social Security and your ex-spouse dies, you can get a boost to your Social Security by that survivor benefit.  As previously stated, re-marriage can kill the benefits from an ex-spouse.  Remember, it is your re-marriage not theirs.  You can receive up to 50% of your ex-spouse’s benefit amount.  If you are a widow or widower you can receive up to 100% of the deceased’s benefit, but as in most situations as I previously mentioned, if you choose to receive reduced benefits if you apply before your full retirement age not only is your benefit significantly discounted, those benefits that you could get from an ex-spouse will also be reduced.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Sarah Sheehan, financebuzz(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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Couple Married For 79 Years Without Having a Quarrel Shares The Secret of Their Lasting Love

Posted On: September 12, 2022

This is an endearing story of a couple who was married for 79 years and who stated that their lasting love survived without having a single quarrel.

This article shares their secret

They believe one reason for their success is the amount of time - especially quality time - that they actually spend together...simple things like having dinner together, watching a movie regularly and making sure they kiss each other goodnight.  Sometimes it's the simple things we do for one another that builds stronger relationships.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Brittany Chalmers, news(dot)amomama(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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More and More Women Are Paying Spousal Support to Their Exes - Here’s What Attorneys Say You Need to Know Before Getting Married

Posted On: September 06, 2022

Matrimonial attorneys surveyed by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers have seen an increase in women paying spousal support.  Spousal support, formally known as alimony, is financial assistance and monetary aid provided by one spouse to another after a marriage ends.  The purported goal is to help maintain the marital standard of living and assist a lower earner in becoming more self-sufficient.  That is the purpose that is intended.  Historically, alimony and spousal support was predominantly paid to women.  However, in the 1980s in a case supported by the late Ruth Bader Ginsberg, it was deemed unconstitutional to unequally treat the sexes and ordered alimony to be gender neutral. 

Over the past two decades we have seen many high profile woman from Brittany to Madonna to J Lo directed to pay millions of dollars to their exes in spousal support.  One of the most shocking decisions was Kelly Clarkson’s order to pay her ex-husband a one time payment of $1,326,161.00 and monthly payments of $115,000.00 in spousal support until January of 2024.  In addition, notwithstanding that Clarkson was the primary custodian caring for their two children the majority of the time, she was ordered to pay $45,601.00 per month in child support. 

These are just some examples of women being directed to pay child support.  When prenups and alternative means or methods of obtaining divorce are not used, the parties are at the peril of the court and their decisions, whether we think them to be rational or justified.  Unfortunately, parties like this get stuck with the court’s verdict. 

That is why Collaborative Law for dissolution of a marriage is the way to keep you, your family, your children and your money safe. 

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Annita Katee, wellandgood(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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Are You Headed For Divorce? 5 Common Red Flags

Posted On: August 30, 2022

First off, this article expresses the need for couples to have additional help in the form of couples counseling.  As in any therapy, a person, or a couple in this case, will learn new skills and insights on how to resolve issues or have better skills in dealing with different situations and stresses. 

This article also highlights some very serious issues that if not corrected will lead a couple to dissolve their relationship.  Some of these issues are loss of respect for your partner, imbalanced accountability, lopsided communication and a defeatist attitude, as well as the absence of true empathy.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Jessica G Hartshorn, scarymommy(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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Spirio Law Is In Your Corner: When It Pays To Have An Attorney

Posted On: August 23, 2022

Another instance where it really pays to have an attorney.  I recently had an amazing result for a client.  On a six point speed ticket I was able to get it reduced to NO points and a non-moving parking violation. Yes there was a fine, but not having a speeding ticket of that significance or even a moving violation with that amount of points makes a huge difference on your insurance. Unfortunately, a person appearing on behalf of themselves would never get this result from the Suffolk County vehicle traffic and parking agency.

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

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Can A Pregnant Woman Legally Get A Divorce In New York State?

Posted On: August 22, 2022

So, this a scary title of an article, but the bottom line is, in New York a pregnant woman can legally get divorced.  However, this article points out that in states like Arizona, Arkansas, Missouri and Texas, courts will not grant a divorce to a married couple if the wife is pregnant.  Therefore, in addition to not having control over her body with respect to abortion or health issues that may arise from that pregnancy, i.e. the pregnancy needs to be terminated for the health and life of mother, in these circumstances a woman can be held hostage in a marriage merely because she is pregnant.  

Fortunately, New York State Governor Kathy Hochul is moving to confirm women's rights in New York despite the Supreme Court ruling overturning Roe v Wade.  

This article also identifies the 7 legal grounds for divorce in New York.  Fortunately, New York now provides for "no fault grounds" for divorce and has moved from the archaic stance where you actually needed other grounds to get divorce.  Now most people can qualify on a non-contested no fault ground. 

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Yasmin Young, wblk(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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How My Family Was Torn Apart By a Divorce Bomb

Posted On: August 04, 2022

To warring parents, splitting up often feels like the only answer. But as Jane Green reveals from bitter experience, the fallout - for your children, your friends and yourself - can be worse than you imagined.

Most people do not realize that divorce is like a bomb going off, not only for the family, but for their extended family, their children and their friends as well.  Actor Ewan McGregor was quoted as saying that “a divorce in a family is a bomb going off in everyone’s lives…”. 

This article gives a different perspective from someone who went through a traditional divorce, and after handling the fall out of their “bomb going off”, now believes in retrospect that it may have been better for their children to have stayed in a miserable marriage rather than have the family and children go through the effects of a divorce.

I would note, however, that divorce at any age, including a “gray” divorce, has an impact on children.  No matter what age the children are when a divorce happens, they are impacted.  Obviously this is something that each person contemplating a divorce must think through to see what is best for them and their family.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Jane Green, DailyMail(dot)co(dot)uk
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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