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I know most of you have been seeing the reports, and the reality is that the coronavirus pandemic has brought about an increase in divorce.  Experts are predicting that those numbers will continue to climb as the pandemic continues.  This may not apply to all women, however many times it is more often the rule than not, but the fact is, the majority of the time, due to the disparities in earning capacity as well as choice in child rearing, women are not as financially equipped to handle the devastation of a divorce as men.  As this article points out, it would behoove women to tread carefully and be particularly savvy during this time.  Do not take drastic action but rather plan financially for the dissolution that you see coming.  Again, in this article, a study in the Journal demographic found that both men and women are hurt economically by a divorce, but men recover more quickly due to the disparity of earning capacity and the realities of the business world.  As this article quotes women have disproportionate losses in household income and assets and increase in risk of poverty and single parenting.

Interestingly, the report concluded that for men, divorce is an economic pot hole, and for a woman it can be a cliff.  That is a very clear and visual description of the extreme differences between the economic impact for men and women.

Oh my god, I don’t know about you, but after all the this quarantining, it’s nice to get out into the fresh air and enjoy nature!  The foliage in New York State is always spectacular and it’s about to hit its peak.  If you have the opportunity, go get some fresh air in upstate New York, maybe pick some apples and have a good time. 

This article shows some of the best places and where the peaks are right now.  It also gives some great ideas on New York State Tourism websites.  Enjoy!

I, like many people, was hit hard by the loss of this national treasure and icon.  Ruth Bader Ginsburg was an incredible woman who sacrificed so much for others and our country.  Many people are not aware that RBG intended to retire in 2016 when she thought Hillary Clinton was going to win the election and wanted to turn over her seat to Hillary for the appointment of the next Supreme Court Justice.  As we all know that did not happen and a very different future arose.  What most people do not realize is that at 83 years old she chose to still serve her country and work for what she believed in, rather than give up her seat to the present administration.  That is why it will be an absolute travesty if her seat is filled before the people have an opportunity to vote (the hypocrisy of those who changed the rules to appoint Scalia’s replacement while President Obama had 10 months remaining in office!).  To me it is not about your political views or who you would choose...it is about being an American and doing the right thing.  We should all be able to voice our differences of opinion and reflect our decision in our vote without that system being corrupted and our democracy undermined by a political party. 

The notorious RBG was  a beacon of light and hope.  She not only talked about making life better for minorities and the underprivileged who are marginalized by mainstream society, but she made it her life’s mission to benefit the plight of others and secure rights and justice for all.  She worked so hard and was an exquisite and thoughtful writer.  Whether or not you are into reading legal decisions as some lawyers are, some of her decisions are just wonderful to read.  This article shares some of her shining moments and gives us all a better appreciation of who she was.

When others were enjoying their retirement (as she should have been), RBG was still working every day and very hard for her country and the rights of people she didn’t even know. 

And finally, because RBG was Jewish, we do not say Rest in Peace, but rather, let her memory and life’s work inspire and live on.

Linked article courtesy of Chris Johnson at Washington Blade, America's LGBT News Source

Statistics tell us more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, and 7 years tends to be the magic number for the average length of a couple making it before divorcing.  Obviously the first year is the honeymoon phase.  At about 4 years, tensions tend to arise and by year 7, couples are either in a fight or flee mode, where they will find a way to deal with the tensions and move their relationship forward or decide that a dissolution is where they are heading. 

Multiple studies clearly indicate communication is crucial and misunderstanding left unattended grows into resentment and contempt.  A couple really needs to decide whether they are going to work through their difficulties and make the relationship work.  You have to be willing to spend the time to work at your relationship.  Kindness, good communication and respect for one another are vital.

Michelle Buonincontri lost about $1,000,000 of her retirement savings because she did not understand the difference between separate property and what became marital property.  She used the home that was originally her own home to help an ailing parent.  However, when it came time to divorce, that entire home, notwithstanding how it was utilized to finance her parents medical needs, was considered marital property and her husband was entitled to his equitable share of same.  Once again this drives home the importance of not only understanding the difference between separate property and marital property and commingling what may have been separate into marital (that can occur consciously or not) but the need for either a Prenuptial Agreement or an Agreement that specifies with respect to certain items that you do not ever want to become marital, such as business assets as well as private or separate property that was accrued prior to the marriage.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Market Watch.  Selected picture courtesy of Michelle Buonincontri.

This is a tremendous victory for same sex couples who lost a spouse, only to find they were not married for the required 9 months (although they may have been together for decades before marriage was legal) and were denied social security survival benefits!

While the number of states that allowed same-sex couples to marry gradually increased from 2004 until 2015, when the U.S. Supreme Court struck down all remaining state bans, that freedom came too late for many couples. Even where same-sex couples married as soon as they could once their state marriage bans were lifted, many were unable to be married for nine months before one spouse died, and SSA denied them benefits for not being married for long enough.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Lambda Legal.

A federal court in Georgia recently ordered the Trump Administration to recognize the U.S. citizenship since birth of Simone Mize-Gregg, the two-year-old daughter of a married same-sex couple, and to issue her a U.S. passport. The U.S. State Department had refused to recognize Simone as a U.S. citizen, even though both of her parents, Derek Mize and Jonathan Gregg, are U.S. citizens and children born abroad to heterosexual married U.S. citizens are automatically considered U.S. citizens themselves.

Click here to read more about this landmark victory!

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Lambda Legal.

I wanted to share these funny tweets from some married folks.  It's always best to find the humor in life and in relationships, and we could all use a good laugh right about now!  It’s no secret that to keep any long term relationship going you need to put the work in.  It’s one thing to meet the love of your life and be in bliss and a whole other thing to commit to a lifelong healthy partnership and make it a happy and healthy success.  Communication, laughter and finding humor together makes the journey easier and life so much more fun!

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Liucija Adomaite and Justinas Keturka
Selected photo courtesy of Matthew Burnside/Twitter