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The 3 Most Common Precursors to Divorce Today

Posted On: June 30, 2025

Marriage is meant to be a safe place where you feel seen, supported, and deeply connected. But what happens when that connection quietly begins to unravel? When conversations turn into cold silences, intimacy fades, or every little disagreement feels like a battle? These aren’t just rough patches, but warning signs that the foundation of your relationship is starting to crack.

Here are three significant challenges modern marriages face that are often heralds of divorce.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Mark Travers, Ph.D., psychologytoday(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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This Is The Exact Moment You ‘Lose’ a Fight With Your Partner

Posted On: June 23, 2025

All couples fight. Conflict is normal, and often healthy, in relationships. Let’s be honest, though: Everyone likes to win. And when you’re arguing about something important, losing feels especially hard.

But here’s the truth: Losing a fight with your partner isn’t about not getting your way. It’s when the relationship takes a back seat to the issue at hand. It’s when you stop seeing yourself as a team and start putting your own ego first.

You see your partner not as a collaborator, but as a competitor, and that is when you really lose a fight.

A real win is when both partners leave the conversation feeling more understood, not more armored, and here are some suggestions on how to get where you need to be.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Brianne Hogan, huffingtonpost(dot)co(dot)uk
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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Choose Collaborative Divorce For A Better Future For Your Family

Posted On: June 12, 2025

You can’t avoid the legal process in order to get divorced, however, you have the option to control how that legal process affects you! Utilizing a collaborative team means you can be in control of the process and the outcome. Choose collaborative for a better future for your family.

Divorce isn’t just a legal process—it’s emotional, financial, and deeply personal.

So, what kind of support matters most when everything feels uncertain?

Legal Guidance & Structure?
Mental Health Support?
Financial Clarity & Help?
A Team That Works Together?

In a Collaborative Divorce, you're not alone. You get a team that supports all of you—not just the paperwork.

Selected excerpt(s) courtesy of the Long Island Collaborative Divorce Professionals Linked-In post from May 2025
Photo courtesy of Long Island Collaborative Divorce Professionals

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT #LICDP

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Patchogue Pride Parade!

Posted On: June 10, 2025

Had a wonderful time with a great showing by our BIG BAR of Lawyers and allies at the Patchogue Pride Parade. 🏳️‍🌈 SCPD also came out to protect and serve.

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT #Pride #BigBar #Patchogue #PatchoguePrideParade #SCPD

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SAVE THE DATE: Friday, June 20th: What Legal Practitioners Should Know To Protect LGBTQ+ Clients, Their Families, and Their Assets

Posted On: June 09, 2025

I'm proud to be speaking at The Dean's Hour:  What Legal Practitioners Should Know To Protect LGBTQ+ Clients, Their Families, and Their Assets on Friday, June 20th at 12:30pm.

Attendees will learn about specific considerations for protecting LGBTQ clients’ familial relationships, medical decisions, and assets. Panelists will also discuss the current landscape for marriage equality at the 10th anniversary of the Obergefell Supreme Court decision recognizing same-sex marriage nationally.

Event Information:

Dean’s Hour: What Legal Practitioners Should Know to Protect LGBTQ+ Clients, Their Families, and Their Assets (HYBRID)
Friday, June 20, 2025 12:30PM - 1:30PM

Nassau County Bar Association
133 15th Street,
Mineola NY 11501

Guest Speakers:
Jess A. Bunshaft, Chair, NCBA LGBTQ Committee
Johanna C. David, Of Counsel, Jaspan Schlesinger Narendran LLP
Concetta G. Spirio (she/her), Collaborative Divorce Attorney and Mediator

Member Signup
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Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT



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Why Staying Out of Court Matters So Much for LGBTQ Couples by Concetta G. Spirio

Posted On: June 02, 2025

Have you ever wondered why it’s especially important for LGBTQ couples to avoid the courtroom when navigating a divorce or separation?

For many of us in the LGBTQ community, the answer is deeply personal. The court system—while improved in some ways—still carries the weight of historical bias and structural limitations. That is why more divorcing LGBTQ couples are turning to the Collaborative Divorce Process as a better, more respectful path forward. It offers something courts often cannot: dignity, privacy, and the space to tell your full story.

Let’s talk about why that matters.

A Legal System That Wasn’t Built for Us

Even though marriage equality has granted critical rights for our community, it didn’t erase the struggles LGBTQ couples faced for decades. If you’re like me, and have been in a long-term relationship, long before we were legally allowed to marry, you know what I mean. We built lives, bought homes, raised children, planned our financial future and retirement, together. However, because those years weren’t always backed by legal documents, they often don’t “count” in a court of law.

That’s one of the biggest shortcomings of the traditional legal system. It looks at what’s on paper—marriage certificates, adoption documents—not what’s in your heart or in the home you built over time. And that’s exactly where the Collaborative Divorce Process makes such a big difference.

Why Collaborative Divorce Works for LGBTQ Couples

1. It’s More Respectful and Inclusive

The Collaborative Divorce Process is all about partnership—not battle. It brings both people to the table to work together with a team of trained professionals who understand the emotional and legal layers involved. For LGBTQ couples, this means your identity, history, and values are honored, not erased.

2. It Lets You Acknowledge Your Whole Relationship

The courts often ignore the years you were together before legal marriage was an option. The Collaborative Divorce Process doesn’t. You and your partner can create agreements that reflect your actual history—not just the part the law chooses to recognize.

3. Privacy Matters—And You Get It

Court proceedings are public. The Collaborative Divorce Process happens privately and confidentially, in a space where you can be open without fear of judgment, discrimination, or having your personal life exposed. That confidentiality is powerful, especially in a world where many LGBTQ folks still face bias and downright discrimination.

4. It Allows for Fairer Financial and Parenting Decisions

We all know the system hasn’t always treated LGBTQ families equally. From losing out on health benefits to being excluded from spousal Social Security, to losing custody of our children because of our “lifestyle,” many of us faced deeply personal and financial hurdles that straight, married couples never had to think about. The Collaborative Divorce Process allows you to factor in those inequities—and to craft parenting plans that reflect your reality, not outdated laws.

5. It Encourages Healing Instead of Hurt

Let’s be honest—divorce is hard. But The Collaborative Divorce Process focuses on communication, empathy, and healing. For LGBTQ individuals who’ve already dealt with discrimination and trauma, this respectful process can mean the difference between feeling shattered and feeling seen.

How Courts Still Fall Short for LGBTQ Families

Even with marriage equality, many LGBTQ couples are still left out in the cold when it comes to legal protections—especially those who were together long before they could legally marry. Here’s where the courts continue to struggle:

  • No Recognition for Pre-Marriage Relationships: You might have been with your partner for 15 years, but if you married only five years ago, the court likely only recognizes those five years.

  • Unjust Asset Division: Everything you built together before marriage? It may not be considered when dividing property or calculating support.

  • Alimony Gaps: The court may deny spousal support (alimony) because the “legal” marriage was short—even if one partner gave up career opportunities or financial independence for the relationship years before marriage was possible.

  • Parenting Challenges: Many LGBTQ parents had to fight for legal recognition as parents. And if the non-biological parent never legally adopted the child, courts may still overlook their role—even if they were an equal parent from day one.

  • Emotional Harm: Being told your relationship doesn’t count is devastating. Courts can leave LGBTQ individuals feeling invalidated, erased, and hurt all over again.

Choosing a Better Way Forward

The Collaborative Divorce Process gives LGBTQ couples the chance to write their own story—one that’s fair, compassionate, and reflective of who they really are. It’s not just about avoiding court; it’s about reclaiming our stories, our dignity, and our power.

Our voices and our relationships have always counted. Now it is time our separation process does too.

Article courtesy of Concetta G. Spirio for Long Island Collaborative Divorce Professionals
Photo courtesy of Long Island Collaborative Divorce Professionals

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation
For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT #LICDP

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Concetta G. Spirio Addressing The Fears & Unique Challenges Facing The LGBTQI Community And Their Families

Posted On: May 27, 2025
This video captures a speech and workshop I delivered two years ago for the New York State Council on Divorce Mediation. In it, I addressed the fears and unique challenges facing the LGBTQI community and their families, and spoke directly to fellow mediators about the critical importance of recognizing and responding to these concerns. I also offered practical strategies for creating safer, more inclusive mediation spaces.

Today, this message is more urgent than ever. In light of ongoing efforts to roll back our rights, it’s imperative that we, as professionals, remain vigilant, informed, and proactive in supporting LGBTQI individuals and families navigating separation, divorce, and co-parenting.

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBTQI

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Shock Link Found Between Marriage And Risk of Developing Dementia

Posted On: May 12, 2025

Finding a special soulmate and tying the knot is, of course, cause for celebration, but new research highlights a surprising potential downside of getting married: it may significantly increase your risk of dementia.

What makes the findings unexpected is that many previous studies have shown a variety of health benefits to getting married – benefits that include lower heart disease risk and living to an older age.

The team behind the latest study, led by researchers from the Florida State University College of Medicine, suggests further investigations will be needed into the reasons why single people may be less likely to get dementia – or perhaps are less likely to have it diagnosed.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of David Nield, sciencealert(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Google's ImageFX

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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