The Latest News Divorce

Marriage is meant to be a safe place where you feel seen, supported, and deeply connected. But what happens when that connection quietly begins to unravel? When conversations turn into cold silences, intimacy fades, or every little disagreement feels like a battle? These aren’t just rough patches, but warning signs that the foundation of your relationship is starting to crack.

Here are three significant challenges modern marriages face that are often heralds of divorce.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Mark Travers, Ph.D., psychologytoday(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

Unfortunately, this article is correct.  There are many unforeseen and unexpected financial impacts to a dissolution of a marriage.  You should not only be cautious of capital gains implications when selling a marital home, but if the marital home is being transferred to one party, it is important to do a title search to make sure there are no Judgments and Liens, and the party is truly getting the equity that is believed to be the consideration for the transfer in equitable distribution. 

There should be no tax on the equitable distribution of certain assets, but as this article indicates, depending on cost basis and capital gains, significant tax impact consequence could be incurred.  Another good point that this article makes is the true impact of the cost of children.  Child support, although a statutory creature, only covers room and board, which obviously does not cover the myriad of expenses in raising a child, not to mention how those costs increase as the child ages and the ultimate cost of a college education. 

In addition, now that there is no deduction or tax write-off for maintenance, the tax implications are even greater and more must be considered in negotiating a settlement with respect to the tax implications and impact on the parties. 

It is very important to have a skilled attorney and tax expert review your dissolution so you know exactly what you are getting and the tax implications of your decisions.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Chris Taylor, Considerable.com

Concetta Spirio: A compassionate and aggressive lawyer providing the highest level of legal representation for over 30 years.

There are a few unexpected realities of getting divorced it wouldn't hurt to know as you sever your former "forever" relationship.

• It will affect your child
• Don't use friends for legal advice
• Make your divorce agreement as detailed as possible
• A new partner will be a new adjustment
• A new partner may change your ex
• It takes time to adjust to all the changed
• Be aware of imputed income
• Separation should be separation - period
• It's more common to do 50/50 custody these days
• Spending time together might be awful

No one can truly prepare you for divorce, but before you decide to end your marriage, talk to divorced people and educate yourself. That way, if you do take this road, you will be prepared as best as possible, for better or for worse.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of popsugar, yourtango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

When you plan to spend the rest of your life with someone, or commit to a long term relationship where you are living under the same roof, you have to recognize it is not going to always be rosy and cheerful.  Conflict is inevitable and is going to happen.  How you handle it and how you go about a resolution is what will determine how your relationship fares.  Long term relationships with two people are complicated.  Adding in kids and financial responsibilities can cause conflicts to multiply exponentially. 

If you actually analyze marital disagreements or spats, they tend to follow a negative trend.  Someone is negative to the other person, the other person becomes defensive and things escalate in a negative manner.  This article explores an interesting way to break that cycle.  They have termed it a “Marriage Hack”.  In essence the parties embrace an idea of a third party.  Although figuratively, the exercise involves once you find yourself in a positional argument, for each to take a step back, take a few minutes and write about the argument and disagreement, not from your own point of view or your partner’s point of view, but from a birds eye view of a neutral third party observing your argument. 

The study conducted over a few years at Northwestern University, shows that utilizing this exercise, many times, brings a clear perspective on what the couple is arguing about and what has triggered the argument.  That opens the door to finding a solution.  It was also interesting that they found that the couples that utilize this technique, not necessarily had less conflict, but that the conflicts did not escalate as far and caused less stress and frustration between the couple.  There is nothing more damaging to a relationship when an argument goes too far in the wrong direction.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Jeremy Brown, Fatherly

Many are experiencing the stress of isolation and uncomfortable 24/7 close confinement with their spouse. For some this is not a problem, but for others it has created strain and rifts within relationships.  For those having difficulty or facing divorce and separation, especially in these times when the courts are not available (except in actual emergencies), there is an alternative that will enable a family to move forward now while saving tremendous time, money and emotional trauma.

People usually think that the major issues for a marriage are infidelity and financial problems, which are often the big ticket items that truly cause the demise of a marriage.  These can obviously obliterate or fatally fracture the foundation of any relationship.  Again, good communication is the cornerstone to maintaining a good foundation and to heal wounds. 

There are also many other small seemingly minor behaviors that can damage a relationship and start the seeds of destruction...it really just takes a little time and effort to pay attention. 

The Gottman Institute has identified what they call the four horseman of the apocalypse and identifies four behaviors that they feel can, with 90% certainty, destroy a marriage.  They are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.  The video in the article is a good quick tutorial on examples of those behaviors as well as suggestions for solutions.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Fatherly, yourtango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

One of the earlier questions a client usually asks during a consultation for divorce is what are the monetary costs (legal fees) of obtaining a divorce.  The reality is, in New York, the costs for a divorce are slightly higher than the national average.  However, that takes into account that the divorce rate is higher in New York than in other places in the country, as well as the fact that the cost of living and earnings of people in New York are also higher. 

Unfortunately, the process between court fees and the documentation required by the courts in order to grant a divorce cannot be avoided.  Therefore, the actual costs of your divorce will vary, depending on the complexity of your matter as well as which method or process you utilize.  Obviously a highly contested divorce, i.e. with two attorneys fighting every issue out through the court system can become astronomically expensive.  Collaborative divorce and mediation are less expensive and are a much more holistic approach. 

However, when all is said and done, in my opinion and experience, Mediation and the Collaborative process can run about the same.  Again, each case is different and it depends largely upon the complexity of your circumstances i.e. whether there are children, retirement assets, marital assets and debt, etc.

It's important to have the right professional to help you navigate any process.  That is why a collaborative divorce, using collaboratively trained professionals, in my opinion, is the best and most holistic approach and when compared with the alternatives is the most cost effective.

If you have any questions please contact me @ Spiriolaw.com or one of the amazing Collaborative Divorce Professionals @ LICDP.com

Royalty-free photo courtesy of UnSplash

So, have you heard of “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”?  Well, a renowned psychologist, after studying couples over fourteen years, was able to identify behaviors that can predict when a marriage would end with astounding precision. He has dubbed the four behaviors as “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”.

As this article goes into more detail, the four behaviors are Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. It is a very interesting read. My question to you is, if you see these signs, how would you react and what would/could you do to rectify and save the marriage?

Remember the Collaborative process has professionals to help with any rising conflicts.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Rebecca Strong, askmen(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT