The Latest News Divorce

Lessons to be learned: not letting the pandemic put your marriage at risk.

During the pandemic we have definitely seen a rise in agitation within relationships.  Some couples have discovered that they were not meant to live 24/7 in the same household. Being forced to be together 24/7 in close quarters is stressful.  Add to the mix children who are required to stay home (either being home schooled or remote learning), all while parents are trying to work at home remotely can build pressure and stress, not to mention the emotional tool the pandemic is having on everyone.

Do not feel bad and start to assign blame.  Being together nonstop can become irritating for either spouse. The pandemic has destroyed normal routines for everyone and we all have to adjust and find a new balance and a new normal.  Encourage and embrace differences of opinion and try to keep an open mind. Instead of dividing a couple these difficult times could create avenues of common ground to make your relationship stronger.

So don't be part of the statistics of couples who break up. Instead embrace each other with open honesty, kindness, consideration, love and joy and find the brighter side of things together and make your relationship stronger for the long haul. 

Divorce is unfortunate under any circumstance and what people many times do not realize is that it has a significant negative impact on the physical and mental health not only on the two participants of the divorce but for their children and the entire family.  For some the stress of the divorce can actually temporarily alter a person.  You may have witnessed a friend, colleague or family member change during the enormous stress of a divorce.  It can be surprising and unsettling to see such a dynamic change in a person you know well.

The stress of a divorce can also significantly impact a person’s ability to think clearly and function normally.  When you understand such a drastic impact on a person you also need to recognize that this stress carries over to a person’s mental and physical health and wellbeing. Studies have shown that divorcees have trouble physically functioning and report more body pain and worse overall physical health during and immediately after a divorce.

However, the toxicity and stress of divorce does not have to overtake you and your family. There is a better way! Collaborative divorce is a more holistic and healthier approach to resolve all issues that must be addressed in the dissolution of a marriage. It saves everyone involved from the negative impact of a divorce.  Your family deserves Collaborative.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of David Sears, KAST
Selected photo courtesy of Paper City Magazine

Why do lesbian couples tend to have higher divorce rates than their gay and straight peers? That’s the question that a new Finnish study sets out to answer, and the results might not be what you expect.

The study, titled “Same-Sex and Different-Sex Couples’ Divorce Risks: The Role of Cohabitation and Childbearing,” was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family on September 9. As its introduction notes, “prior studies have shown that female and male couples have a higher divorce risk than different-sex couples, with the highest divorce risk among female couples across countries such as Sweden, Norway, Denmark, the United States, and Canada.”

As you read through this fascinating article, keep in mind:  It was how long they lived together before marriage that really mattered.  Data showed that among all same-sex couples, divorce risks were lower the longer they lived together before marriage.  Same-sex couples who lived together for at least seven years before marriage had the lowest divorce risk per year (1.9% for lesbian couples and 0.9% for gay couples), while couples who moved in together the same year as their legal union faced significantly higher divorce risks (8.2% for lesbian couples and 4.6% for gay couples).

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Abby Monteil, them(dot)us
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

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Welcome to the Collaborative Circle!

On the last Tuesday of every month we release our Collaborative Circle on YouTube, which seeks to inform and answer all of the questions you may have regarding the Collaborative Divorce process as well as help foster understanding and further our mission of helping families make informed choices about how best to proceed throughout any family crisis.

Anyone seeking more information about how we can help families in conflict, during divorce or separation, please reach out.

Many people don’t realize that in the Orthodox Jewish religion, although a person can obtain a divorce from the Civil Court system, unless they are granted a “Get” from their husband, they cannot get divorced in their religion.  This means that their religious community can ostracize them.  In fact, Jewish women whose husbands refuse to divorce them are known as “Agunot” meaning “chained”, because they are still tied to their estranged husband and unable to remarry under Jewish law.  For these men who choose not to grant a Jewish divorce to their ex-wives, they are asserting a type of control over their life that is equivalent to domestic violence. 

The United Kingdom recently expanded their domestic abuse legislation to make withholding a “Get” a potential crime. 

In this article, Orthodox activists are pushing New York State to adopt a broader domestic violence legislation. 

It's time that all woman are “unchained”.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Jacob Henry, Forward(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of UnSplash

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 34 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

June is Pride Month for the LGBTQIA+ Community - a time to celebrate how far the community has come and a time to reflect on how we can continue to keep enacting positive change. Marriage equality became the law of the land in June 2015 - and with marriage comes the possibility of divorce.

I have advocated for LGBTQIA+ rights since I was an undergraduate in college, and as an attorney, I believe strongly in the rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered individuals.

My colleagues at Long Island Collaborative Divorce Professionals have graciously been promoting my article explaining why mediation and the collaborative process just makes sense for LGBTQIA+ couples.

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 32 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT #pride #pridemonth #lgbtq #gaydivorce #mediation #collaborative #collaborativedivorce #mediator #divorcemediator #separation #divorcelaw #divorcelawyer #familylaw #divorcesupport #longisland #longislandcollaborativedivorceprofessionals #licdp #support #advocate #family #marriage #law #justice #equality #humanrights

Relationships are easy when things are going well and everyone is happy.  It's the tough times that challenge us to keep harmony - when things are going wrong and the stress level is high that really test the strength of our relationships. 

I think this era, with the pandemic and all that we have endured, has been an unprecedented time and challenge for our relationships.  It is often never one crisis or stressful event that causes the breakup of a strong partnership.  It's helpful when couples are flexible, empathetic and team oriented in their approach to problems. 

This article points to 8 traits that significantly help couples manage the storms and stay together through difficult, and what may seem like impossible, times or circumstances.  I find it interesting that the most important ingredient from the studies have shown, that to sustain a long term relationship, it is important to be emotionally accessible or available to one another.  I have always said that communication, honesty and respect are a great foundation to building any relationship.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Virginia Pelley, Fatherly
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Un Splash

There are many reasons that couples consider divorce, including unresolved empathic ruptures, lack of compatibility, or lack of romantic connection.  No matter the reasons underlying your marital dissatisfaction, divorce is a difficult decision to make, particularly if there are children involved. 

Here are some of the most common decision points I see in my practice that make people feel that it is definitely time to move forward with separation and divorce.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Samantha Rodman Whiten, yourtango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Google’s Gemini

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

Not getting divorced under the belief that parents should stay together for the sake of their children has been challenged by many.  The idea of a child living in a war torn home can have its own effects, regardless of a couple’s desire to stay together for their benefit.  This article highlights one mother who found divorce and shared custody to be an absolute salvation, not only for herself but actually extremely beneficial for her children.  Having two separate homes and two separate parents being responsible for their children can relieve the totality of the burden of one parent being 100% responsible for their children all the time. 

Working out positive results such as those mentioned requires cooperative parties/parents. 

If you are facing a divorce, the Collaborative Divorce process often helps couples navigate through the toxic parts of the dissolution and provides support and tools to move forward in a more positive way for themselves and for their co-parenting. 

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Stephanie Portell, YourTango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of UnSplash

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 34 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT