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Happy New Year From Spirio Law!

Posted On: December 30, 2022

As we leave 2022 behind, I wanted to share this hopeful quote below...

Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable. -Mary Oliver, poet

Wishing all of my friends, family, colleagues and clients a very Happy New Year filled with joy, peace and love.

Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT


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Senate Passes Landmark Protections For Same-Sex Marriage

Posted On: December 12, 2022
Proposed legislation passed by the Senate is not what it appears to be. 

As depicted in this article, a significant occurrence happened when the Senate passed the proposed bill addressing same sex marriage. Although this is exciting and may be significant for some, it is in the view of many, insufficient and really does not do what it is portrayed to accomplish. This bill does not legalize same sex marriage nationally.  It only requires states to honor a marriage that is legal elsewhere. 

That technically has been the standard that exists in our country already. The principle of “full faith and credit” is supposed to honored where a decree, order, judgment or marriage in this case is legally recognized in one state ais supposed to be universally recognized by all states. However, that has not been the case when it comes to same sex marriage and the LGBTQ community. Although this bill purports to be a landmark piece of legislation and progress for the LGBTQ community, it is not.


Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Al Weaver, TheHill(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT


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Behaviors That Can Quickly Turn Your Marriage Into A Toxic Relationship

Posted On: December 12, 2022

People usually think that the major issues for a marriage are infidelity and financial problems, which are often the big ticket items that truly cause the demise of a marriage.  These can obviously obliterate or fatally fracture the foundation of any relationship.  Again, good communication is the cornerstone to maintaining a good foundation and to heal wounds. 

There are also many other small seemingly minor behaviors that can damage a relationship and start the seeds of destruction...it really just takes a little time and effort to pay attention. 

The Gottman Institute has identified what they call the four horseman of the apocalypse and identifies four behaviors that they feel can, with 90% certainty, destroy a marriage.  They are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.  The video in the article is a good quick tutorial on examples of those behaviors as well as suggestions for solutions.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Fatherly, yourtango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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3 Things All Happily Married Couples Do When Times Get Tough

Posted On: December 06, 2022

Maintaining your relationship as well as a household, especially if there are additions or children, put strains on a marriage. It is important that each party is working together and no party feels like they are left doing it all. Having a we/team mentality is essential and avoids any resentment if you are both working together to make not only your relationship work but your household and your life.

It is also essential to communicate about everything and it cannot be underscored enough that simply taking the time to articulate your appreciation of your partner to your partner and acknowledging their contributions to the household, the family and supporting each other is critical.

Small gestures can go a long way. It doesn’t need to be the big gift, just simply a compliment of how you look and what you are wearing, a cup of tea or coffee or even a small bouquet of flowers to brighten someone’s day. As the saying goes: actions speak louder than words.

Here are 3 things happily married couples do when times get tough...

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Liza Caldwell, YourTango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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5 Hard Truths About Being In A Traditional Marriage

Posted On: November 29, 2022

The fairytale of the perfect wedding and all the plans that go into it do not compare or brace oneself for the hard facts of traditional marriage. The fact is that more often than not, women are set back financially 4 to 6 years, whereas men do not have any long-term financial impact. At its basic core, marriage is a legal contract, which binds two people in terms of legal status, property, assets and debt. When you look more closely, marriage has a dark history where woman were often considered property. You need a lot more than love to make a marriage work. 

Many times, the spouses of a marriage are not on the same page, as far as what is important and what their expectations are. Marriage is not something to be gone into lightly, and more importantly, if you are facing a divorce, you need the right professionals by your side.

Here are five hard truths about being in a traditional marriage.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Laura Miolla, YourTango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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22 Queer Couples Through History From Ancient Egypt to the White House

Posted On: November 20, 2022

Did you know that one of the earliest same sex couples to be identified were two men who were loyal servants in Egypt in 2400 B.C.? When their tombs were excavated, it was discovered that they were intertwined and buried as married people are buried, nose to nose and bodies intertwined. 

This is a fun read of historic queer couples, through the passage of time, from ancient Egyptians to the White House. Some you may have heard of or heard rumor of, others will be surprising.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Advocate(dot)com editors
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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First Female Superintendent Takes Helm at Merchant Marine Academy in Kings Point

Posted On: November 12, 2022

Another strong woman in a position of authority. Hopefully she will also use this position to hold the institution accountable to women who have been abused.

Below is the full article...

The U.S. Merchant Marine Academy has appointed Rear Adm. Joanna Nunan, its first female superintendent, a move that comes as the Kings Point school continues to combat allegations of sexual misconduct that prompted the recent suspension of its Sea Year program for the second time in five years.

Coast Guard Rear Adm. Joanna Nunan will become the Merchant Marine Academy’s 14th superintendent, replacing Vice Adm. Jack Buono, who announced his retirement in March.

Nunan retired earlier this year as the Coast Guard’s deputy for personnel readiness, where she oversaw recruitment, training, support and retention of all active duty, reserve, and civilian personnel. She also supervised the Coast Guard Academy and served on its board of trustees.

“Rear Admiral Joanna Nunan is the right leader at the right time for the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy,” said Pete Buttigieg, secretary of the U.S. Department of Transportation, which operates the school. “Her years of experience as a senior military leader — including command at sea — have prepared Rear Admiral Nunan to shape the future of the USMMA and help ensure the safety and success of its extraordinary midshipmen.”

Buttigieg and Deputy Transportation Secretary Polly Trottenberg are expected to make the announcement on Saturday at the Secretary’s Cup college football game between USMMA and the Coast Guard.

USMMA, which trains men and women to be midshipmen working on deep sea vessels and in the military, is one of five federal service academies and the first to admit women.

A native of Bridgeport, Connecticut, Nunan, whose grandfather served 30 years in the U.S. Navy, graduated from the Coast Guard Academy in 1987. She also received a master’s degree in business administration from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and obtained three Coast Guard merchant mariner licenses.

Nunan spent more than nine years at sea in the Caribbean, Gulf of Mexico, and Western Pacific, including commanding two vessels, and served as a commander in the Honolulu, Hawaii sector and in the Ninth Coast Guard District, which encompasses the Great Lakes and Saint Lawrence Seaways region.

During the Obama administration, Nunan, a married mother of two daughters, served as military adviser to then-Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson and as military assistant to Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta.

In 2019, she became the Coast Guard’s assistant commandant for human resources, spearheading efforts to expand diversity and inclusion in the ranks while increasing the retention of women in the service.

Nunan also ran the Coast Guard’s Health, Safety, and Work-Life programs, directing policies addressing sexual assault while serving as a member of the Sexual Assault Prevention, Response, and Recovery Committee.

“Rear Admiral Nunan is uniquely prepared to lead and strengthen USMMA on every front,” said Maritime Administrator Ann Phillips. “She understands both the critical role USMMA plays in our economic and national security and the organizational transformations that are essential to ensuring USMMA prepares students in a safe and respectful environment to excel in a maritime industry undergoing rapid change.”

The Merchant Marine Academy has struggled for years to adopt and implement policies curtailing sexual harassment and misconduct in its ranks.

In 2016, reports of sexual misconduct forced the first USMMA suspension of the Sea Year program, in which midshipmen are required to complete more than 300 days of work on commercial vessels in international waters.

But the program resumed in 2017 after USMMA, Maersk and other shipping companies enacted new “zero tolerance” policies to protect midshipmen from sexual assault and harassment, along with new training procedures.

The following year, a former academy soccer player filed a $5 million federal lawsuit against seven then-seniors on the team and three former coaches, claiming he was verbally, physically and sexually abused. He alleged that the conduct went unchecked and, in some cases, was encouraged by coaches. The DOT paid the victim $1.4 million in a settlement.

Allegations of sexual misconduct emerged again last year when then-USMMA cadet Hope Hicks of Georgia disclosed — anonymously at the time — on a maritime whistleblower website that an engineering supervisor 40 years her senior plied her with alcohol, waited until she was incapacitated and raped her on a Maersk commercial ship in 2019.

When Hicks, who was 19 at the time and the only woman onboard the ship, confronted the supervisor, he told her "no one is ever going to believe you," she said. Hicks' disclosure prompted DOT to again suspend the Sea Year program.

Hicks and another female midshipman, who alleged she experienced extreme sexual harassment and unwanted touching from a Maersk electrician while on board the same vessel in 2021, filed a lawsuit against the international shipping giant in June. The second woman said in the suit she was so frightened of being raped that she slept in a locked bathroom holding a knife. 

Earlier this month, a cargo ship captain, accused by Coast Guard investigators of raping a female USMMA cadet and attempting to assault another after plying both with spiked alcoholic drinks, surrendered his mariner's license, making him ineligible to work at sea.

Full article courtesy of Robert Brodsky, Newsday(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of US Merchant Marines at wearehteusmma(dot)com

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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Legalizing Gay Marriage Has Caused a Dramatic Drop in LGBT Suicide Rates

Posted On: November 07, 2022

In June 2015 the Supreme Court of the United States legalized same sex marriage in all 50 states. President Barack Obama declared it a “Victory for America” and that the ruling would “strengthen all our communities by offering dignity and equal status to all same sex couples and their families.” 

One remarkable statistic has appeared:  a significant drop in suicide attempt rates for LGBT youth after the legalization of gay marriage

A study in Denmark and Sweden published in 2009 found similar results and also found that couples in same sex unions saw a 46% decline in suicide, compared to 28% in heterosexual unions.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Tod Perry, Upworthy(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

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