The Latest News Divorce

Divorce can be incredibly traumatizing and devastating, whether or not you're separating from a toxic partner or "the good guy." But divorcing "the good guy" comes with a whole different kind of pain because there's usually no dramatic betrayal. On the outside, he looks like the exact partner that you should feel grateful for, but the truth is, being good and kind isn't always the same as being compatible.

One woman admitted that after 21 years with her husband, she decided to get a divorce. However, she affirmed that her husband wasn't a bad guy at all, but he just wasn't the kind of partner that she could continue to stay with.

She explained that while her husband wasn't terrible, there were some things she would tell people that would send them "into orbit." One of those things was that he never told her that he loved her.

The end of her marriage happened because of a thousand different cuts...

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Nia Tipton, yourtango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Google's Gemini

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

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By now everyone knows that Bill & Melinda Gates are getting divorced. One of the richest couples in the world didn't have a Pre-Nuptial agreement (an agreement that is entered into prior to the marriage to determine ownership and distribution of assets in the event of a divorce). However, this divorce is not going to be a highly contested public affair because they have entered into a separate contract that addresses the division of property and spousal support after or during the marriage but before filing for divorce. This is often called a Post-Nuptial Agreement.  It’s important to note that these agreements cannot include provisions for child support and/or custody, but in the Gates case this was never necessary because they didn't have any minor children.

It appears the couple had been working on reconciling their differences, but when that became futile, they smartly handled everything that needed to be handled in the dissolution prior to actually filing a Court Proceeding.

This is a great example of how Collaborative Divorce can work, which is available to families in New York and not just for the rich and famous.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Justin Chan, entrepreneur.com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of UnSplash

Approximately 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Today’s generation generally appears less interested in marriage, and for those getting married, they are choosing to getting married later. Gone are the days of people marrying in their early 20s. According to the most recent estimates, the average age of first marriage is now late 20s. Most people only start to get an idea of who they really are and what is important to them some time after 25. It is easier to find a relationship that will last if you know yourself better.

Michelle Buonincontri lost about $1,000,000 of her retirement savings because she did not understand the difference between separate property and what became marital property.  She used the home that was originally her own home to help an ailing parent.  However, when it came time to divorce, that entire home, notwithstanding how it was utilized to finance her parents medical needs, was considered marital property and her husband was entitled to his equitable share of same.  Once again this drives home the importance of not only understanding the difference between separate property and marital property and commingling what may have been separate into marital (that can occur consciously or not) but the need for either a Prenuptial Agreement or an Agreement that specifies with respect to certain items that you do not ever want to become marital, such as business assets as well as private or separate property that was accrued prior to the marriage.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Market Watch.  Selected picture courtesy of Michelle Buonincontri.

While there are many things that contribute to a couple drifting apart and toward separation in a relationship, the true "point of no return" is actually emotional disengagement. Not caring enough to check in with a partner, avoiding hard conversations, suppressing emotions or concerns, and struggling with intimacy — when two people are destined to get divorced, you will see it in these obvious signs.

Even if partners don't realize these subtle shifts over time, by the point where they're emotionally and physically checked out, it's incredibly hard to reignite the spark, rebuild trust, and come back together.

When two people are destined to get divorced you will see it in these 11 obvious signs.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Zayda Slabbekoorn, yourtango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Google's Gemini

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

Most people despite the harsh realties are looking for the fairytale romantic relationship where you fall in love at first sight or that you find your soulmate and are looking for a relationship that lasts a lifetime.  The harsh reality is that is the rare exception rather than the rule. 

It has long been a statistic that more than half of marriages end in divorce and in some areas those statistics are higher.  In Europe it has been shown that in the last 50 years people have divorced 2 ½ times more often and get married 2 times less often.

Whether you are married legally or in a committed long term relationship, if dissolution of the relationship is a reality, using the Collaborative process for either a divorce or the dissolution of a significant relationship is vital and a much more holistic approach, no matter what your geographical location is.  Further the courts will not get involved with the dissolution of a romantic partnership that is not a legal marriage.  

There is scientific data and research that has been done on foreseeing whether divorce is a possibility in a relationship  and nine most distinctive factors. 

This first factor I find is a humorous one.  They basically did a study of people’s photographs from college and were able to determine by the amount of the impact of their smile or gloom of their photo, the rate of divorce for those people.  The study showed that people who look gloomy in their photos were divorced five times more often than those who smiled. 

This also held true for people with respect to the emotional tone of their voice and the commitment to what they are saying.  So, it’s not only what you say but how you say it 😊  

This article had some interesting points on what to look for in your relationship and factors that can contribute to an early termination.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of anton7788, Chowhound.

The media is always abuzz when the name Tom Brady comes into play.  When Tom retired in 2022 and said he “needed to spend time with his family” and then shortly unretired and came back amidst rumor and speculation that also included he was having “marital difficulties” as a result of unretirement, many people looked to blame his wife Gisele as the cause of his stress and turmoil.

However, the bottom line is that a couple (whether it be in a marriage or a committed relationship) has to be on the same page with respect to commitment, what is important to each person, and shared responsibilities. 

Based upon what was rumored and said in the media, it doesn’t appear that Tom and Gisele were on the same page for many years.

Everyone knows that a full-time job/career takes extreme commitment...and so does raising a family and having a good and strong relationship with your partner or spouse.

Although the public is absolutely fascinated with famous people’s divorces, no one will know the true story except the two people involved.

At the very least, however, one should recognize that they did NOT go through the court system other than to finalize their divorce.  All that was involved in unraveling their marital and pre-marital assets and liabilities was probably done by a settlement minded professional such as a mediator or collaborative Attorney.

So, if it is good for the “rich and famous” it is DEFINITELY much more economical for “the rest of us”.

If you wish to learn more about mediation or collaboration, please contact my offices.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Isaac Serna-Diez, yourtango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

Lessons to be learned: not letting the pandemic put your marriage at risk.

During the pandemic we have definitely seen a rise in agitation within relationships.  Some couples have discovered that they were not meant to live 24/7 in the same household. Being forced to be together 24/7 in close quarters is stressful.  Add to the mix children who are required to stay home (either being home schooled or remote learning), all while parents are trying to work at home remotely can build pressure and stress, not to mention the emotional tool the pandemic is having on everyone.

Do not feel bad and start to assign blame.  Being together nonstop can become irritating for either spouse. The pandemic has destroyed normal routines for everyone and we all have to adjust and find a new balance and a new normal.  Encourage and embrace differences of opinion and try to keep an open mind. Instead of dividing a couple these difficult times could create avenues of common ground to make your relationship stronger.

So don't be part of the statistics of couples who break up. Instead embrace each other with open honesty, kindness, consideration, love and joy and find the brighter side of things together and make your relationship stronger for the long haul. 

Divorce is unfortunate under any circumstance and what people many times do not realize is that it has a significant negative impact on the physical and mental health not only on the two participants of the divorce but for their children and the entire family.  For some the stress of the divorce can actually temporarily alter a person.  You may have witnessed a friend, colleague or family member change during the enormous stress of a divorce.  It can be surprising and unsettling to see such a dynamic change in a person you know well.

The stress of a divorce can also significantly impact a person’s ability to think clearly and function normally.  When you understand such a drastic impact on a person you also need to recognize that this stress carries over to a person’s mental and physical health and wellbeing. Studies have shown that divorcees have trouble physically functioning and report more body pain and worse overall physical health during and immediately after a divorce.

However, the toxicity and stress of divorce does not have to overtake you and your family. There is a better way! Collaborative divorce is a more holistic and healthier approach to resolve all issues that must be addressed in the dissolution of a marriage. It saves everyone involved from the negative impact of a divorce.  Your family deserves Collaborative.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of David Sears, KAST
Selected photo courtesy of Paper City Magazine