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People Who Are Still Married To Their High School Sweethearts Are Sharing Marriage Advice, And It's Too Wholesome

Posted On: September 24, 2019

If you’re planning for your marriage to last long-term, here are some tips from people who married their high school sweethearts...and have stayed married!

• Expect and give each other time and space to grow and change
• Honest and open communication
• Support your partner in public and hold criticism and any argument until you’re in private
• The little things matter...saying thank you and please...paying attention to each other’s needs...asking how was your day, listening to the answer and sharing each other’s day and concerns
• Having true down time together to stay connected
• Practice forgiveness
• Know when to let things slide...choose when and if to complain
• Truly respect and trust each other and if you don't have that, maybe it’s time to figure out why
• No matter how long you are a couple, recognize you are not one single person...you each will have different interests and it’s ok to explore them alone
• Pick and chose your battles, never argue with personal attacks, communicate and embrace compromise AND NEVER go to bed angry
• Support each other and always have each other’s back...stick with each other and stick up for each other
• Be best friends
• Try and get along, or at least respect the in-laws...do not impose a separation or distance with family unless your partner creates that for themselves

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Allie Hayes of Buzzfeed.  Pic courtesy of Pixar.

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Money Stress Traps Many Women Into Staying in Unhappy Marriages

Posted On: September 18, 2019

Many people stay in unhappy marriages for "the sake of the children", but more and more women are staying in marriages because they are financially trapped.  Studies have shown that woman are typically more stressed about money than men and that money is the top cause of stress for Americans in general. 

One point that this article makes that is very interesting is that "for many, talking about money is more difficult than talking about sex - even in the therapy room". 

When there are children involved, stress level for parents regarding money is significantly higher.  The US Department of Agriculture says that the average cost of raising a child from birth to age 17, is approximately $233,610.00 and that does not include the cost of a college education which could easily run up to $200,000.00 per child. 

This is another reason why a collaborative divorce is a much healthier way to work out difficulties in a dissolution of a marriage.  There is a team of professionals, including financial advisors and accountants, who are there to help couples work through the difficult financial circumstances that they may face.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Stacy Francis, CNBC.  Picture courtesy of sarahwolfephotography | Moment | Getty Images.


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No Court Divorce: Collaborative Divorce & Mediation

Posted On: September 11, 2019

When staying together is impossible, angry emotions can take over.  This is when the most damage is done, especially for children, who are most vulnerable in this situation.  The solution is a process which brings parents to a fair agreement quickly.  The solution is Collaborative Divorce.

I look forward to helping you reach an agreement that protects you and your family for the future.

Thank you.

Concetta G. Spirio
A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 32 Years.

350 Moffit Blvd.
Islip NY  11751
631.277.8844
www.SpirioLaw.com


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The 4 Most Common Reasons for Divorce

Posted On: September 04, 2019

Pursuant to recent research and this article, it appears that there are new reasons why couples are getting divorced.  This recent study showed that 47% of the participants (of approx. 2,400 divorced people surveyed) said that the choice was due to a lack of love or intimacy, either because one or both parties fell out of love.  The second most common reason, (44% of the participants), said that there were communication problems. 

It is important to keep honest, open lines of communication.  Be kind to one another and keep things fresh.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Samantha Lauriello of Health.com and PEOPLEIMAGES/GETTY IMAGES.

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Why You Should Go to New York City This Fall

Posted On: August 26, 2019

It's not too late to check out why people are drawn to the city in the fall.  This article lays out so many great things to take advantage of in the city that most of us don’t take the time to enjoy.  Whether it's taking in a show, a museum, the latest jazz club or just going in for a good meal.  It's fun to go play in the city, even if you are not an urbanite!

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Lyndsey Matthews, AFAR & Shutterstock

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How New York Almost Didn’t Legalize Same-Sex Marriage

Posted On: August 13, 2019

The threats. The fights. The sacrifices. The behind-the-scenes story of the landmark 2011 law.

This article gives a very interesting insight to the behind the scenes efforts and complications of getting the bill to legalize same sex marriages in New York.  As in many political matters, what sometimes appears to be easily achieved, can be much more complicated and precarious in actually having it accomplished.  There are so many factors that come into play.  It's amazing that the legislature ever gets anything passed.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Rebecca C. Lewis of City & State New York and Louis Lanzano/AP/Shutterstock

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A Personal Story Regarding One Of My Clients

Posted On: August 06, 2019

I recently received one of the nicest compliments...

Decades ago I represented a couple on the purchase of their first home and then their first Wills and Vital Documents package.  At the time, I visited the husband in the hospital to get closing documents.

He was so impressed with that visit that he recently came back for my services and relayed the memory and the impact it had on him.  He said that is why he wouldn't go anywhere else!

Their eldest daughter just turned 18 and they not only want to update their own Wills and Health Care Proxy (HCP), but they also want to get a HCP for their daughter so that they as parents could still be be entitled to information with regard to her healthcare despite HIPAA regulations (an important issue for parents with college age children).

Knowing that I made a difference in my client’s life so many years ago, and having the opportunity to not only help them again, but now their daughter…it’s a reminder of how much I love what I do!

I look forward to continuing to provide that same, high level of concierge service to both my existing and new clients.



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Divorces Spike In The Summer. Here's How To Prepare For The End

Posted On: July 29, 2019

Studies have shown that there is a spike in divorce filings at the end of summer and beginning of a new year.  Some attribute that to the fact that couples spend more time together in the summer and things can "heat up" when there are existing problems between the couple.  However, people don't choose to file until later when the school year begins and their children are back in school.  Likewise, traditionally, the December holidays are not a time when people file for divorce.  Filings spike when the new year comes around, with new year resolutions and a retrospect of looking back over the past year.

If someone is even thinking about a divorce, they should start to plan and prepare long before they file.  Summer is often a good time to have conversations with your attorney, financial advisors, and of course, your family.  It is also a good time to make an assessment and get familiar, if you are not already, with what you have - whether it is bank accounts, credit cards, investments or actual physical property - and to have an understanding of your financial circumstances and wherewithal, especially if you are not the spouse that takes care of these items.  It is also best to start accumulating copies, while you have access to all the important documents, of tax returns, bank statements, credit cards and retirement accounts - not only assets but also liabilities, to understand the financial health of your relationship and how you will be able to proceed moving forward.

Summer is also a good time to reflect, if you are considering a divorce, what you are really looking for moving forward...whether divorce is right for you now and what do you want your family to look like in the next five years.  Family counseling or coupling counseling may also be appropriate.  If you feel there is trouble brewing but not sure the direction you want to take.  Having outside help, when something as emotionally and traumatic as problems in a marriage can be, it is important to get perspective of what is really happening and examine what your real feelings and needs are.  It may also give the opportunity, if done early enough, to resolve problems before they arrive at a breaking point.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Ryan W. Miller, USA TODAY & Divorce Magazine

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