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From Judge Paul G. Feinman to the Nomination of Justice Anthony Cannataro:  Two Openly LGBTQ+ Judges And The New York Court of Appeals

Posted On: June 03, 2021

Loss of Legal Scholar
In Memoriam
Judge Paul G. Feinman 

Originally I was planning on writing a tribute article to Judge Feinman in recognition of his service and ignited by his unexpectedly and sudden retirement from the Court of Appeals.  Needless to say, it was a tragic shock to hear of his unexpected passing on March 31, 2021, only eight (8) days after the sudden announcement of his retirement for health reasons.  This tribute, intended to be about his early retirement, is now an article in memoriam.

This is an incredible loss for the entire legal community and especially for the LGBTQ community who has lost an avid advocate and voice, not only to the public but from the bench.  As many know, Judge Feinman was an incredible legal scholar and jurist and LGBTQ voice from the Court of Appeals bench.  

We mourn the untimely passing of Judge Paul G. Feinman (only 61), one of the Associate Judges of the Court of Appeals, who ascended to the Court of Appeals in June, 2017, as a result of Governor Cuomo’s nomination.  Judge Paul G. Feinman, was the first openly gay Associate Justice of the N.Y.S. Court of Appeals.

Born and raised on Long Island, we were proud and fortunate to not only have had another Long Islander reach high levels in the judiciary, but for him to ascend to our Court of Appeals, not only as an esteemed Jurist, but as the first openly gay and LGBTQ representative and voice.  

Chief Judge, DiFiore, said that “Judge Feinman is an exceptional Judge and a magnificent human being, who has made extraordinary contributions to the Court of Appeals during his tenure and that he will be greatly missed”.  We echo that sentiment and are sorry that his voice and a voice for the LGBTQ community will no longer be on the bench. 

Justice Chris Ann Kelley, of the Suffolk County Supreme Court shared “I recall watching the  N.Y.S. Senate confirmation hearing when Judge Feinman was officially confirmed as an Associate Justice of the Court of Appeals.  His humility, warmth, wit and keen intellect are apparent in that presentation before the Senate.” She further commented that at his confirmation hearing before the N.Y.S. Senate Justice Feinman was questioned about the appropriateness of his filling the vacancy caused by the death of Judge Sheila Abdus-Salaam.  Judge Feinman responded: “Certainly my entire career has been about promoting equal access and equal justice for all, and I hope to add to the diversity of perspectives that the Court considers.” Judge Feinman underscored the importance of adding LGBTQ+ voices to the Bench. 

As a member of the SCBA LGBTQ Committee in Suffolk County, I recall Judge Kelley recounting how she reached out to Judge Feinman on a whim, to invite him to the Suffolk County Court Pride Event, to commemorate the 50th Anniversary of Stonewall.  She was surprised that he answered his own phone in chambers.  She related that he was so personable and humble and approachable and that he did not hesitate in accepting an offer to come speak at the Suffolk County event.  Judge Feinman graced us with his presence, and we were able to hear his insightful review of the history of LGBT cases decided by the Court of Appeals. He was so friendly and approachable to the members of our committee.  He has served as a role model and mentor to many lawyers and judges.

Judge Kelley also shared with our committee that she was brought into an association, known as the International Association of LGBTQ + Judges, which Judge Feinman was actually a member and a past president.  It is a unique association that supports LGBTQ + Jurists on the bench.  

Judge Feinman was so dedicated.  I was told of an instance where he literally left his hospital bed to appear and give testimony, with respect to Judge’s salaries.  

He was so dedicated to our profession, to his fellow attorneys and fellow jurists.  His voice and presence will be sorely missed!

Last Week Governor Cuomo Nominated Justice Anthony Cannataro
To Serve As The Second Openly LGBTQ+ Judge
Of The New York Court Of Appeals
In Its 170-Year History

Per the LGBT Bar Association of New York:  While the LGBTQ+ legal community has been deeply affected by the loss of their dear friend, Judge Paul Feinman, with the appointment of Justice Cannataro, the Court will once again have a member who has a deep commitment to, strong relationship with, and empathic understanding of the needs of the LGBTQ+ community.

As the Administrative Judge of the New York City Civil Court, Justice Cannataro brings a unique perspective on the challenges of administering a vast and often burdened court system. Justice Cannataro is one of the original Commissioners of the Richard C. Failla LGBTQ Commission of the New York Courts. In this capacity, Justice Cannataro has presided over an education program to ensure that transgender litigants, among others, are treated with respect and dignity in their interactions with the courts.

We applaud the Governor for this nomination and urge the Senate to move swiftly with confirmation.  




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Spirio Law Celebrates 25th Anniversary!

Posted On: June 07, 2021

I absolutely cannot believe it has been 25 years since I started and created my own firm.  Although I have been in practice for 34 years, nothing has been more satisfying than having my own law firm for the past 25 years.   Through all the ups and downs of economy, businesses and through COVID, we are still a presence in the legal community and respected by our peers.  I must say that this would not have been possible without the support of family, friends, colleagues, my fabulous staff and most importantly my clients who have supported our firm over the years. 

THANK YOU does not begin to cover it.  I have enjoyed working in the different areas of law over the years but most importantly, I have immensely enjoyed helping my clients reach positive outcomes for themselves, their businesses and their families. 

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 34 Years.

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What To Wear While Video Conferencing To Look Polished & Professional

Posted On: March 16, 2020

Video conferencing and working from home virtually is going to become the new business norm for the current health crisis.

This is a great blog post on how to dress for your video conference.

Ms. Melanie Lippman is a member of my MOXXIE networking organization and has helped many of my colleagues with tips on how to look their best. 

Thank you Melanie for writing this blog!

Linked blog post courtesy of Melanie Lippman.  Photo courtesy of VSPL.

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Reminder - FREE PROGRAM: Estate Planning With Pride - What the LGBTQ Community Needs To Know

Posted On: March 17, 2025

Please join me and my other featured panelists at the FREE presentation Estate Planning with Pride:  What the LGBTQ Community Needs To Know, where all of your questions about estate planning will be answered.

Wednesday, March 19, 2025
6pm - 8pm

The Bristal at Garden City
1001 Axinn Avenue
Garden City NY  11530

Topics Will Include:

Documents every LGBT person should have.
Your rights if your partner is hospitalized.
Your rights if your partner dies and you're not legally married.
Rights regarding funeral arrangements.
Trusts vs. Wills.
Married vs. unmarried couples.

Light refreshments will be served.

For any questions, please contact either me or Kerri Winans Kaley at 631.372.2392 or kwkaley@thebristal.com

I hope to see you there!

Thank you.

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT #EstatePlanningWithPride


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Grateful To Be A Member And On The Board of This Amazing Organization

Posted On: May 03, 2024
I am so grateful to be a member and on the Board of this amazing organization! I have been in love with this organization of peacemakers from the beginning.  These professionals have become family 🥰

New York State Council on Divorce Mediation Annual Conference


Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.


#NYSCDM #NYSmediate #Divorce #Mediation

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Thank You To The "Smile More In Life Everyday Gala"

Posted On: May 12, 2025
I had the privilege of attending the Smile More In Live Everyday Gala at the stunning Oheka Castle!

It was an amazing night celebrating my dear friend and colleague Chanell Smiley.

Chanell is a true force—breaking barriers and leading the charge in mental health awareness and treatment through her nonprofit, Smile More in Life Everyday, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to ending the stigma around mental health.

She’s also the powerhouse behind Keep Smiling Therapy, and the ladies of Long Island Collaborative Divorce Professionals were so proud to support her mission.

All of these women have become my dear friends and family!

Chanell, thank you for your passion, vision, and heart!  Keep winning and keep shining!


Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBTQI #SmileMoreInLifeEveryday #KeepSmilingTherapy

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Why Staying Out of Court Matters So Much for LGBTQ Couples by Concetta G. Spirio

Posted On: June 02, 2025

Have you ever wondered why it’s especially important for LGBTQ couples to avoid the courtroom when navigating a divorce or separation?

For many of us in the LGBTQ community, the answer is deeply personal. The court system—while improved in some ways—still carries the weight of historical bias and structural limitations. That is why more divorcing LGBTQ couples are turning to the Collaborative Divorce Process as a better, more respectful path forward. It offers something courts often cannot: dignity, privacy, and the space to tell your full story.

Let’s talk about why that matters.

A Legal System That Wasn’t Built for Us

Even though marriage equality has granted critical rights for our community, it didn’t erase the struggles LGBTQ couples faced for decades. If you’re like me, and have been in a long-term relationship, long before we were legally allowed to marry, you know what I mean. We built lives, bought homes, raised children, planned our financial future and retirement, together. However, because those years weren’t always backed by legal documents, they often don’t “count” in a court of law.

That’s one of the biggest shortcomings of the traditional legal system. It looks at what’s on paper—marriage certificates, adoption documents—not what’s in your heart or in the home you built over time. And that’s exactly where the Collaborative Divorce Process makes such a big difference.

Why Collaborative Divorce Works for LGBTQ Couples

1. It’s More Respectful and Inclusive

The Collaborative Divorce Process is all about partnership—not battle. It brings both people to the table to work together with a team of trained professionals who understand the emotional and legal layers involved. For LGBTQ couples, this means your identity, history, and values are honored, not erased.

2. It Lets You Acknowledge Your Whole Relationship

The courts often ignore the years you were together before legal marriage was an option. The Collaborative Divorce Process doesn’t. You and your partner can create agreements that reflect your actual history—not just the part the law chooses to recognize.

3. Privacy Matters—And You Get It

Court proceedings are public. The Collaborative Divorce Process happens privately and confidentially, in a space where you can be open without fear of judgment, discrimination, or having your personal life exposed. That confidentiality is powerful, especially in a world where many LGBTQ folks still face bias and downright discrimination.

4. It Allows for Fairer Financial and Parenting Decisions

We all know the system hasn’t always treated LGBTQ families equally. From losing out on health benefits to being excluded from spousal Social Security, to losing custody of our children because of our “lifestyle,” many of us faced deeply personal and financial hurdles that straight, married couples never had to think about. The Collaborative Divorce Process allows you to factor in those inequities—and to craft parenting plans that reflect your reality, not outdated laws.

5. It Encourages Healing Instead of Hurt

Let’s be honest—divorce is hard. But The Collaborative Divorce Process focuses on communication, empathy, and healing. For LGBTQ individuals who’ve already dealt with discrimination and trauma, this respectful process can mean the difference between feeling shattered and feeling seen.

How Courts Still Fall Short for LGBTQ Families

Even with marriage equality, many LGBTQ couples are still left out in the cold when it comes to legal protections—especially those who were together long before they could legally marry. Here’s where the courts continue to struggle:

  • No Recognition for Pre-Marriage Relationships: You might have been with your partner for 15 years, but if you married only five years ago, the court likely only recognizes those five years.

  • Unjust Asset Division: Everything you built together before marriage? It may not be considered when dividing property or calculating support.

  • Alimony Gaps: The court may deny spousal support (alimony) because the “legal” marriage was short—even if one partner gave up career opportunities or financial independence for the relationship years before marriage was possible.

  • Parenting Challenges: Many LGBTQ parents had to fight for legal recognition as parents. And if the non-biological parent never legally adopted the child, courts may still overlook their role—even if they were an equal parent from day one.

  • Emotional Harm: Being told your relationship doesn’t count is devastating. Courts can leave LGBTQ individuals feeling invalidated, erased, and hurt all over again.

Choosing a Better Way Forward

The Collaborative Divorce Process gives LGBTQ couples the chance to write their own story—one that’s fair, compassionate, and reflective of who they really are. It’s not just about avoiding court; it’s about reclaiming our stories, our dignity, and our power.

Our voices and our relationships have always counted. Now it is time our separation process does too.

Article courtesy of Concetta G. Spirio for Long Island Collaborative Divorce Professionals
Photo courtesy of Long Island Collaborative Divorce Professionals

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation
For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #EstatePlanning #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT #LICDP

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Victim Advocacy 101: Domestic Violence Training for Professionals

Posted On: October 22, 2019

Long Island Collaborative Divorce Professions & Long Island Against Domestic Violence Present:

Victim Advocacy 101: Domestic Violence Training for Professionals

A FREE training designed to explore the nuances of intimate partner violence, recognizing potential victims, and providing community resources.

Friday, November 1, 2019
12:30pm - 2pm
Butterfield's Restaurant @ 661 Old Willits Path, Hauppauge

Please RSVP to e.vaz@vazlaw.com

Lunch will be available for purchase

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 32 Years.

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