The Latest News Children and Divorce

This article, based upon conversations with fathers who have been through the divorce process as well as divorce experts, examines how fathers can help prevent the harmful impacts of their divorce on their children while securing the best results from a bad situation.  This is easier said than done. 

One of the first and most prominent suggestions is that you need the right legal professionals to help manage the divorce.  Although this article does not talk about the Collaborative divorce process, it really sings to the issues that can be more skillfully facilitated through a Collaborative process. 

You and your family deserve the dignity and benefits of a Collaborative process if divorce is inevitable.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Rob Kemp, Father (dot) com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of UnSplash

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 34 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

Once again, I always urge people to seek the processes of mediation and collaborative divorce, not only for a more holistic approach to their dissolution of their marriage, but to save their children and family from the severe impacts of a litigated divorce.  The collaborative process includes a mental health professional who acts as a family specialist to help a family sort through the issues regarding their children, custody and parenting time.

This article also speaks about how this attorney represents children and gives them a voice in the court system.  What I would suggest to you is that having to put your children in the hands of an attorney to begin with is in and of itself a traumatic experience for a child.  If you really want to consider avoiding the impacts of divorce on your children, you need to think of the alternative dispute resolutions of mediation and divorce that will protect children from the traumas of divorce. 

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Kelly Burch, Insider(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

According to the US Census Bureau, couples marrying today have a 50% chance of their marriage ending in divorce. Many of these marriages are between parents and 40% of children will be affected by divorce before reaching adulthood.

When couples with children divorce, their first priority is often the well-being of the children. Sometimes, unhappy couples even choose to stay together because they believe it is the best thing for their children. When a separation or divorce is the best option for the family, effort should be made to protect the most vulnerable members of the family. What can you do to protect your children when you separate from or divorce your partner?

Transition Phase
The process of divorce is stressful for the entire family, but it can be easier if it is handled well. Couples have the option of working together to alter their existing relationship. The inclination during a divorce is to “get rid of your partner” or pay him or her back for any perceived wrongs. Unfortunately, especially for the children, this causes more harm than good in the long run.

During your divorce or separation, do your best to protect your children by working with your soon-to-be-ex to devise an arrangement that is best for everyone. Try to be fair and try not to let your emotional wounds affect your child’s relationship with his or her parent. When possible, avoid a lengthy legal battle. Children should never be used by one parent against the other to address a wrong or as leverage for results in a separation or divorce. This is extremely harmful to the child and often is never successful in obtaining a resolution to the matter.

Family counseling and counseling for the children is highly recommended. Making sure children have the support system and resources available to them to navigate this life changing transition is extremely important.

Custody and Visitation
Protecting your child from harm should be your first priority. If your soon-to-be-former partner has behaved in a manner that put your child at risk, you have every right to protect your child in the future. However, there is a difference between a child being at risk and a child spending time with someone whom you are upset or angry with. Just because your partner hurt you should not mean your child will benefit from estrangement from his or her parent.

Working together to create a custody or visitation arrangement that helps your child feel comfortable and supported is the healthiest type of transition for a child. If he or she is old enough to discuss custody or visitation, take his or her feelings into account when creating an arrangement. Ideally, children will feel just as loved and supported after a separation or divorce as they did when the family was intact.

Finally, speak with your child about responsibility. It is important for children to understand they did nothing to cause the break up of the family.

No matter your personal situation, your children should be protected from the changes in your relationship with your significant other. Working with an experienced family lawyer helps you transition to separation or divorce with as little turmoil as possible. Share your concerns about your child’s safety and well-being with your attorney and he or she can help you determine the steps to take to protect your child.

If you need help in this area or have questions feel free contact attorney SPIRIO at 631-277-8844.

There are more than 70 million grandparents in the United States. According to the US Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, more than half of these people believe they would do a better job raising their grandchildren than they did raising their own children. Thirteen percent of these grandparents are raising their grandchildren and serve as the primary caregiver for their children’s children.

In order for grandparents to receive custody and even visitation time with their grandchildren, certain conditions must apply. These conditions vary from state to state, but in general, the best interest of the child is the most important factor.

If custody of a child is an issue, courts typically attempt to award it to the mother. If the mother is unavailable or unfit, the next person to be awarded custody is the father. If the father is not an option, grandparents or other blood relations are typically given next priority. In cases where grandparents feel the child’s parents are unfit, the burden of proof is on them to establish the parent is unfit and in most situations, it is extremely difficult to do so. If neglect is found, the court may remove a child from the custody of the parents. Grandparents would then have to qualify for custody. Again the best interest of the child is the Court’s standard. In many instances the Court may appoint a Law Guardian, a legal representative appointed to represent the child’s interests in the proceeding. The Law Guardian will interview and visit all parties home and prepare a report for the Court.

Receiving visitation as a grandparent is easier than receiving custody. Courts take various factors into consideration when determining whether or not to grant grandparents legal visitation, including:

• Needs of the child, including his or her physical and emotional health
• Capability of the grandparents to meet the needs of the child
• Distance between the child’s primary residence and that of the grandparent(s)
• Wishes of the parent(s)
• Wishes of the child, if the child is capable of making decisions on his or her own
• Strength of the relationship between the grandparent(s) and grandchild
• Length of the relationship between the grandparent(s) and grandchild
• Evidence of abuse or neglect
• Ability of the grandparent(s) to provide love, affection, and contact with the child

Ideally, parents are able to work out an arrangement that includes time with grandparents interested in being a part of a child’s life, even after the child’s parents have separated or divorced. However, this is not always the case, especially if the parent’s relationship does not end amicably or the relationship with in-laws was strained when the couple was together. This can be especially problematic in non-traditional families where grandparents are not accepting of life choices, but still wish to play a role in a grandchild’s life.

If you are a grandparent who wants to continue a relationship with a grandchild once his or her parents separate or you are the parent of a child whose grandparents are threatening legal action, it is important to speak with a family attorney. He or she can explain to you the rights of grandparents and determine what action to take to best protect your family.

If you have a legal situation concerning your family and are in need of help, call 631-277-8844 today for a no obligation initial consultation and personal service.

Source:
http://www.statisticbrain.com/grandparent-statistics/

Marriage is a challenge and not all couples are meant to stay together forever. According to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri, half of all first marriages end in divorce. Data also shows people are not learning from their mistakes – second marriages tend to end at a rate of more than 65% and nearly one-third of all third marriages end in divorce.

Fortunately, legally ending a marriage and starting a new life is an option, but the process can be complex. If you are considering divorce or you and your spouse have decided the time has come to end your marriage, there are several things you should know concerning your marital rights:

No-Fault Divorce is an Option
No-fault divorce refers to the ending of a marriage where neither party is accusing the other of marital misconduct. If you and your spouse simply grow apart or determine together for whatever reason you no longer wish to be married, no-fault divorce is the best option. Both parties are held equally accountable for the end of the marriage.

Marital Misconduct Plays a Role in Divorce Settlements
Should your desire to divorce arise because of some transgression committed by your spouse, you have the right to assert marital misconduct. This might entitle you to a greater settlement in the divorce. Examples of marital misconduct include abusive behavior, adultery, addiction to drugs or alcohol, or economic fault. Keep in mind these transgressions can also affect child custody, as well as the division of marital assets and spousal support.

It is within the Court’s Power to Force an Attempt to Reconcile
As much as either you or your spouse might want to end your marriage, the court system does have the power to order reconciliation if you or your spouse denies the marriage is irretrievably broken. There are also instances in which an attempt to reconcile is ordered if there are minor children in the family.

Typically, the court delays divorce proceedings for a few months, during which time couples are required to attend counseling or mediation. It does not mean the court can force you to stay married forever, but it can delay the divorce and require that you make an effort to repair your marriage.

If you are considering divorce or you have questions about the best way to end your marriage, it is important you speak with a qualified divorce attorney. He or she can guide you toward the right decisions and ensure your rights are protected during the divorce process.

Have questions about Family Law or need help in this area, then feel free contact attorney SPIRIO at 631-277-8844.

When staying together is impossible, angry emotions can take over.  This is when the most damage is done, especially for children, who are most vulnerable in this situation.  The solution is a process which brings parents to a fair agreement quickly.  The solution is Collaborative Divorce.

I look forward to helping you reach an agreement that protects you and your family for the future.

Thank you.

Concetta G. Spirio
A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 32 Years.

350 Moffit Blvd.
Islip NY  11751
631.277.8844
www.SpirioLaw.com

Blending families is always a challenge, but it is one that most agree is worth it. When families change and parents find new partners with which to share their life, it affects everyone involved. Children must adjust, relationships with former partners might change, and legal issues arise. The social, psychological, and economic challenges are enough to make anyone feel stress, but a little planning and support go a long way. Ultimately, your goal as a blended family is to protect your children, your new partner, and his or her children, and to blend your new family as seamlessly as possible.

What should you know about the legal issues blended families might encounter?

Your Children
One day your children will be entitled to an inheritance from you. Ensuring the assets you want them to have transfer without any legal challenges takes a bit of planning. It is important to speak to an attorney familiar with estate planning, so he or she can help you create a will that addresses these issues. In most cases, your partner or spouse becomes the beneficiary of a significant portion if not all of your estate by default, so if you would like to determine the distribution of your estate, you must take action to ensure this occurs.

Your New Partner
Most couples in blended families tend to combine their wealth. Assets obtained after marriage are in the names of both spouses and partners are listed as beneficiaries on retirement plans and life insurance policies. Keep in mind if you die before changing your beneficiaries and/or without having made specific arrangements regarding changes to your estate; your new spouse and your children could find they are accidentally disinherited. Further you could have a circumstance that your assets pass to your spouse and upon his or her death, those assets could pass to his or her children or even his or her new spouse, if there is a future marriage after you are gone. Chances are you want your new partner to inherit a portion of your estate and you want to protect him or her as much as your children. However, once your family is blended, it is very important you address specific issues concerning your estate. Assets will not automatically funnel to your children as they would if you were married to their mother or father.

Other Issues to Consider
In addition to updating your Will and beneficiaries on various items when your family blends, you will also want to consider a few other important factors. Both you and your new partner should discuss financial goals and make decisions about spending, investing, and saving. Establishing mutual financial goals is a great way to plan for the future and commit to the practical, financial aspect of your new relationship. Take his or her priorities into account when planning. If you both have children, create a fair plan that reiterates you are both ready and willing to provide for and protect your new family.

According to statistics from the US Census Bureau about one third of all marriages include at least one partner who was previously married. This means he or she might bring assets, retirement funds, and children to the new relationship.

If your relationships have led to a complicated family tree, take time to plan your estate and work with a professional who understands the complexities of a blended family.

If you need help in this area or have questions feel free contact attorney SPIRIO at 631-277-8844

Source:
http://www.census.gov/hhes/socdemo/marriage/data/census/index.html

I've been meaning to post this for quite some time...

Although this article indicates that this single mom (now 74 years old) won a sizable award for arrears of child support, it unfortunately demonstrates that Justice Delayed is also Justice Denied.  Yes, the mother finally came to terms and received money from her ex-husband (who refused to pay his child support when it was due and needed), but the fact of the matter is that both she and the child (now 52 years old) suffered for all those years without the financial support they so desperately needed.

In essence, the child lost both parents:  her dad by going to Canada and her mom because she had to work full time to support her - all because they did not have the financial means and support they deserved while the child was growing up. 

The father’s statement that he was glad to pay the mom the support that was owed 50 years ago is, in my opinion, too little too late.  Him wishing her the best in the future is an empty statement since he was not there when his child needed him most.

What are your thoughts?

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of ABC News